Daycares-- Good or Bad?

[Poly]

Is it good to put children in daycares? Are they harmful or beneficial to the children in anyway? Give reason for your vote.

[ebenz47037]

Personally, I believe that day cares are detrimental to a child's well-being. They need to be taken care of by a parent. But, if that's not possible (both parents have to work or a single parent), they should be taken care of by a family member or a close friend of the family.

[Crow]

Sometimes, a woman is a position where the father of the children is unable or refuses to support them, and she must go to work, or to school so that she can get the skills to support them.

In this case, I believe that putting kids in daycare while working or obtaining the education she needs to support them is less damaging than seeing Mommy collect welfare as a career, with no intention or effort to find a means to support her kids.

Having a relative or friend provide care is probably a better idea than daycare, but there are areas where Christian daycare is availiable. It's not ideal, but sometimes we are faced with challenges which present us with a far less than ideal situation to work with.

[billwald]

Day care not a good idea but sometimes you gots to do something even if it is wrong because someting else is more wrong. (theory of graded absolutism <G>)

[Mustard Seed]

Originally posted by Poly

Is it good to put children in daycares? Are they harmful or beneficial to the children in anyway? Give reason for your vote.


I'm certain there are cases in which they are justified. I don't think they should be a staple of society. If you put your kids in a daycare don't cling to any illusion that they'll do any better for you when you're back in a state requiring attention.

Why have kids if you don't ever get to know who they really are? I mean what is a mom or dad that hardly ever plays the role? All I'm saying is be carefull what you do with your kids because it all comes back to you in the end. You reap that which you plant. If your only half a mother or father to your kids they'll be half a child to you and that's not the most enjoyable kind of child to have.

[SOTK]

I can't stand Day Cares! I know because I've had to use them before. Yes, I think they can be damaging to children. Children really need to be taken care of by parents. I agree that sometimes parents are forced to have to go this route, but I would strongly urge any parent to try hard to not go down that road. Luckily, things have worked out with my work schedule and my wife's work schedule that one of us is always home with the kids and we have not had to use Day Care.

[Turbo]

:SOTK::up:

[Elaine]

I'm against day care for the same reason I'm against public schools. Your children would be under the authority and teaching of people whose values may not reflect your own. Get a family member if at all possible. :)

[elohiym]

Daycare... :down:

The great thing about daycare is you can always ask one of the gals that watches your kid to describe those priceless moments you missed, but she saw; and hopefully, she'll remember enough to tell you what you missed. "I think she said 'I love you' and then she called me mommy." How sweet.

And I'm sure there are great advantages for your kids, too.

[ShadowMaid]

Hi! I'm back, and I'm glad that I found this thread... though it's right on the first page. :D

Daycare I don't think is a good idea, and there are various examples above that show why. And if both parents are forced, or one of them forces the other, to work, then it seems logical to ask a close friend, or better yet a family member. But then, I'm just re-stating what has already been said. ;)

[Wamba]

Welcome back ShadowMaid!

[1PeaceMaker]

__ WAYS TO SAY NO TO DAYCARE

If you are strapped for money because you are a single parent or have 2 working parents, here are a few possible ways to prevent the daycare scenario...

1. If there are to of you, cut the household spending as much as possible. [Forgo new cloths, buy bulk, nurse, have family bed, instead of 2 or 3 bed/cribs,(done safely) ect.]

2. Get a smaller house. Just one bedroom/bathroom can accomidate a sizable family.

3. Use alternative transportation, instead of a pricy car.

4. Start a home based business.

5. telecommute (sp?) to work.

6. Take baby to work. A few jobs make this a viable option. Consider the possibility.

7. Homeschool. Homeschoolers can cut costs in very creative ways, making it possible to keep the little ones around.

8. Visit your local co-op. There are many ways to save "mucho denaro" by buying quality bulk items, and baking your own bread, etc.

9. Move. If you are living in the heart of a city, life can be more pricy, depending on your location.

10. If you are single, get married. Find a (Christian) spouse who will aid you in taking care of a child.

11. Talk to Mom and Dad. If you have any reasonable relationship with them, they may be able to help mommy stay at home to raise their grandkids.

12. Seek assistance from other family members. Some people are loath to ask for help, but there is no better cause than that of raising a child properly. We need more well trained children.

13. Visit your local food bank if it really gets rough.

14. Cut meat and milk and milk form your food bill. They are expensive, and it is possible to properly nurish the family without them.

15. Visit your local church. Many of them will be happy to aid your cause, and at least a few denominations have a dorcas, or something.

I just thought I would post a few thoughts. If someone has other ideas to add to mine, please do. There is nothing more important than making sure children are properly raised by their parents, instead of someone else.

PeaceMaker

[LightSon]

So it seems that day care is a necessary evil in some cases.

Originally posted by Elaine

I'm against day care for the same reason I'm against public schools. Your children would be under the authority and teaching of people whose values may not reflect your own. Get a family member if at all possible. :)

I don't think I can agree with your reasoning Elaine. The day care's values may not reflect mine, but what if they do? What if a family member doesn't share my values?

Unlike a public school, a day care need not be fashioned according to state values. A day care could be organized around a church or a home, in which case the values could be well ordered. The reflection of values in this case could be more agreeable to me, than the values of a familly member who doesn't share my values.

I suggest you frame your position as follows: i.e. Don't put your kids in any environment where your values aren't supported.

[LightSon]

I notice many are running to the option of having a friend or family member care for the kids. Hey! That is still "day care", plain and simple.

I voted "If you know and trust who's watching them, they're fine".

I don't think having someone else "care" for my kid during the "day" is necessarily damaging. I do not think it is best, however. God gave us children to raise, and not to farm them out to someone else, but there are exceptions to the rules. I apprecated peacemakers list of daycare alternatives, but still there is the underlying notion that letting another person watch your kids in any circumstance is evil. I'm saying there is a difference between what is best and what is wrong. It may not be best to let another watch my kid, but it does't necessarily make it wrong.

And to Elo's point: As the primary breadwinner, I often have to hear the priceless moments about my child from another, usually my wife. So again, it is best for me to be with my kids, but sadly I have to go to work. I enjoyed your sarcasm nevertheless.

Incidentally, we home school and do not use any sort of daycare. I just don't think this issue is black and white and do not want to see single mothers vilified when they have found a daycare which DOES have solid Christian values. It may not be best, but under her circumstances it may be the only valid option. It is best for her to have a Godly husband too (so that she could stay at home), but sometimes that isn't possible either.

[gwoodard]

:) My wife & I have two lovely children (well since you asked, go to WoodardFamilyOnline.com (http://www.gregwoodard.com) to see them). Both have been in daycare since they were very young and both have done extremely well.
Our daughter is very socialized and very mature for her age. David is much younger and so we cannot tell as well how things are going for him. We have them in a home daycare with a wonderful lady who is very gifted in caring for children.

Having said the above, I do wish that our situation did not require both of us to work full time and hope that in the future, we can have David at home more with mom. I think it might be important for him as a boy.

Just my opinions.

Blessings,

Greg Woodard
WoodardFamilyOnline.com (http://www.gregwoodard.com)

[Imrahil]

My wife & I have two lovely children (well since you asked, go to WoodardFamilyOnline.com to see them). Both have been in daycare since they were very young and both have done extremely well. Our daughter is very socialized and very mature for her age. David is much younger and so we cannot tell as well how things are going for him. We have them in a home daycare with a wonderful lady who is very gifted in caring for children.
Sorry to say this but I've found parents are generally biased when it comes to their own children and thus not extremely reliable.

Having said the above, I do wish that our situation did not require both of us to work full time and hope that in the future, we can have David at home more with mom. I think it might be important for him as a boy. My personal advice would be for you to spend as much time as possible with both of your children.

[Clete]

I answered the question yes. I gave a general answer to a general question. There are exceptions, but not many. As a rule, daycares enable parents to abdicate their responsibilities as parents and let minimum wage teenagers raise their kids for them so that that can "enjoy" their own lives without the "headache" of child rearing.

Originally posted by gwoodard

:) My wife & I have two lovely children (well since you asked, go to WoodardFamilyOnline.com (http://www.gregwoodard.com) to see them). Both have been in daycare since they were very young and both have done extremely well.
Our daughter is very socialized and very mature for her age. David is much younger and so we cannot tell as well how things are going for him. We have them in a home daycare with a wonderful lady who is very gifted in caring for children.

Having said the above, I do wish that our situation did not require both of us to work full time and hope that in the future, we can have David at home more with mom. I think it might be important for him as a boy.

Just my opinions.

Blessings,

Greg Woodard
WoodardFamilyOnline.com (http://www.gregwoodard.com)

Greeting Greg and welcome to TOL! It's always nice to get another poster who is not afraid to use their real name! :thumb:

I was wondering just what "situation" is it that causes you and your wife to both "have to" work full time? I read your bio on your web site and it sounds like your wife’s income alone should be enough to raise a family on. Having you at home raising the kids would be a role reversal that isn't the best situation in the world but it seems to be better than having someone else do it for you.
I notice that you are in the ministry. I know that many pastors, especially those who are associate pastors usually do not make a lot of money, but I submit to you that if your church is not paying you a good living wage then they either do not want or do not need or cannot afford to have a "Coordinator of Adult Discipleship". It is my strong conviction that a man's first ministry is to his family.
1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I don't know what your situation enough to say whether or not this applies to you. So don't take my comments to personally. It's just that as much as you might be convinced that you children are doing fine, I can guarantee you that they would do better if your wife quit her job and raised your children herself. It has been my experience to find that most of those who think they can't do it, only think that because they haven't found the proper motivation. Where there is a will, there is generally a way.
If it were me, I would sell my house and one car, buy or rent a smaller house that I could afford on my income, work more than one job, eat beans and rice and rice and beans and whatever else was necessary to make it happen where my wife could be at home being a mommy which is her highest and best calling as a woman, especially a Christian woman.

God bless, and once again, welcome to TOL! I look forward to your response.


Resting in Him,
Clete

[firechyld]

I think it depends on a lot of factors, not the least of which are the nature of the child and the nature of the day-care. Some children will have a good experience with day-care, some will have a less good experience.

[LightSon]

Maybe we need some nudist daycares.

[firechyld]

*shrug*

Why not? Kids run around naked all the time.

[BlueChild]

I just spent an evening with a child who goes to day care and he has collected a bunch of manipulative behaviors that probably came from multiple peer sources. Ha! My kid, home with me, has not yet thought up the idea of pretending to cry. hee hee! They probably pick up good stuff too?

[firechyld]

I just spent an evening with a child who goes to day care and he has collected a bunch of manipulative behaviors that probably came from multiple peer sources. Ha! My kid, home with me, has not yet thought up the idea of pretending to cry. hee hee! They probably pick up good stuff too?


One of my nieces has just started school, and has taken up with the school bully. She's picked up a few negative behaviours from this girl, and occasionally tries to bring them home.

The problem is, she's bringing them home to my family. After a few dramatic failures at trying to use manipulative tactics on her mother, she's learnt a valuable lesson: this may be how people act, but it's not going to get you anywhere in the real world. She's gone back to being her delightful and loveable self. :)

[faithbible]

I went to a daycare in a church, and I still remember another kid punched me in the gut really hard. Daycare and public school are no places for children. Animals, maybe.

[AvnielKnight]

Daycares aren't bad as long as it's a good daycare that's not just after your money. I have many sisters in Christ who are interested in daycare because they love children. I commend them for their faithful and wonderful work -- But I do believe it would be better for the parents to take care of their children if all possible. It's a parent's job to raise their children, no one else. For me to know that if I'm not teaching my future children (If the Lord allows) -- is scary to think that someone else is teaching them.

[Poly]

Originally posted by AvnielKnight

Daycares aren't bad as long as it's a good daycare that's not just after your money. I have many sisters in Christ who are interested in daycare because they love children. I commend them for their faithful and wonderful work -- But I do believe it would be better for the parents to take care of their children if all possible. It's a parent's job to raise their children, no one else. For me to know that if I'm not teaching my future children (If the Lord allows) -- is scary to think that someone else is teaching them.
How can you commend people for the "beautiful and wonderful work" they do in teaching and raising other peoples children and in the same breath say that it's a parents job to do raise their children and no one elses and that it's "scary to think that someone else is teaching them"? :confused:

[BillyBob]

Fire good!

Daycare bad!

[Shalom]

Wow!!! This is a dusty thread but an interesting topic......at least to me.


My sister in law (Guysmilies wife) runs a daycare out of her home and I would leave my kids there in a heart beat. She is wonderful to her kids and it is a Christian atmosphere. I have no problem with daycare the way she does daycare.

[erinmarie]

Wow!!! This is a dusty thread but an interesting topic......at least to me.


My sister in law (Guysmilies wife) runs a daycare out of her home and I would leave my kids there in a heart beat. She is wonderful to her kids and it is a Christian atmosphere. I have no problem with daycare the way she does daycare.

I have a problem with daycare, any daycare, for one reason alone: The mother should be taking care of her children. At home. It's the absolute best way to raise healthy, well rounded, secure, moral children. A mother is in charge of the up-bringing of the children she has brought into the world, and it's a 24 hour job. It's not to be left to anyone else's hands.

It's the most important thing a mother can do. Other than breastfeed, of course.

[avatar382]

I guess a cost of our standard of living is that often, a household needs two salaries to support it.

Most families need two incomes, and hence daycare becomes necessary.

[erinmarie]

I guess a cost of our standard of living is that often, a household needs two salaries to support it.

Most families need two incomes, and hence daycare becomes necessary.

Why is it that most families need two incomes?

[truthteller86]

Why is it that most families need two incomes?Because the feminist movement destroyed the traditional family unit (where the father is the provider and the mother is the loving caregiver to their children) by demanding equal pay for equal work thereby forcing businesses to loose control over their salary decisions thereby forcing prices higher thereby forcing mothers to go to work just to help make ends meet thereby forcing other people to raise their children. :cry:

[Joe Roberts]

Because I worked evenings and night shift, I was able to keep both of my kids home for the 1st year. After that we did but them in daycare. The daycare does a whole lot of things I could never do. Adam my youngest has learned to read, write, and is pretty good at speaking Spanish. The thing that impresses me the most is that they are teaching him American Sign Language. He’s becoming very good at it. He is only 4. These are things I cold never have taught him. I have to say if you can find a good daycare, no they can be a very good thing.