Dating, boyfriend/girlfriend, "going out"...

[Lighthouse]

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept. I am hoping for some sound doctrine and advice from some of you here. I want to know what you beleive the Bible to say, and what would be some good advice and Scripture to offer those who don't think it's a bad idea. I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex.

[elohiym]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept.My wife and I believe that dating is not a Biblical concept either. Good for you!

You might tell your friends that are sleeping around what you would tell a homosexual. Sexual immorality is all the same. Right?

[Delmar]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex. Tell them to get married!

[Delmar]

I do think if you are going to pick your own wife it makes some sense to spend some amount of time getting to know her better before choosing her as your wife. I don't care what you call it. "Dating" is just a word a lot of Christians like the word "courting" better.
I do agree that becoming romantically involved with someone you have no intention of marrying is a bad idea that leads to pain for both parties.

[Granite]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept. I am hoping for some sound doctrine and advice from some of you here. I want to know what you beleive the Bible to say, and what would be some good advice and Scripture to offer those who don't think it's a bad idea. I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex.

Why don't you think it's biblical?

Dating is definitely not a bad idea, I don't care who you are.

[erinmarie]

Turbo and I were having this discussion the other night. I just haven't been able to wrap my head around all the implications of dating. Turbo asked me at one point if I wished I hadn't dated before I met my husband...and it took me a while to answer.

I think I regret dating THE PEOPLE I dated, but not dating in general. I had a lot of fun, met a lot of different people, and was completely prepared to except that my husband was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Some of the best moments of my whole entire life took place on dates with my husband. So I have a hard time saying that it was wrong.

But when I think of my daughters and what they will be allowed/not allowed to do, it's a whole other story! Harmful hypocrisy? I'm not sure!!!!

[Granite]

Hypocritical? Probably, but what the heck. That's parenting for ya...:D

Looking back I do regret not dating more, before my unfortunate marriage.

[Jefferson]

Couples who have sex before marriage and then break up are usually emotionally heartbroken over it for awhile. But the more they repeat that pattern, the easier it becomes. Finally, when breaking up is very easy, that's when they decide to get married. It's no wonder divorce is so common today. It is emotionally so easy for callused hearts.

[Yorzhik]

In a nutshell: Dating is practice for divorce.

That being said, because of the culture there isn't an easy alternative. The idea is simply to have other people that are more on a "busniness" level, and less an emotional level, determine if the character of the prospective spouse is suitable. It isn't easy if both parties are not committed to the process, and since it isn't part of the culture, the pool of prospects is very small.

But hey, I'm willing to do things the hard way for the good of my children. And I wish the culture had been different when I was younger - I could have avoided a terrible situation.

BTW, ErinMarie, do you still have those great times while you were dating, after you are married? Or are the good times just glory days?

[erinmarie]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

BTW, ErinMarie, do you still have those great times while you were dating, after you are married? Or are the good times just glory days?

My husband and I always have fun when we're together...but no it's not the same as it was before we were married. I wouldn't change our lives now for the world, because now we have our two (soon to be three) beautiful children to enjoy. But when we were dating it was just the two of us, and sometimes friends that we don't see as much...having fun, relaxing and doing things spontaneously.
Most married couples don't have built in babysitters at their homes, Yorzhik...and most date-friendly activities are not baby, toddler or child friendly.
Especially when you're breast feeding, even going to the movies becomes a impossiblity!! My husband and I would go to the movies every other night when we were dating!! :thumb:

[Granite]

This talk of dating from people who either don't do it or disapprove of it is slightly amusing.

You date people to get to know them, folks. That's how it works. You don't just find somebody and decide to marry them. Call it courting, dating, whatever, sometimes you need to go through a couple different people before you find a match.

[Gabon]

Got to agree with granite here!

If you not going to enjoy it because it will make you feel uncomfortable, then don't do it obviously. However don't beat yourself up about it. Dating isn't a bad idea. Besides being (and not neccessary unclean) good fun it gives you confidence.

Try Genesis 29:16-30

[Granite]

Originally posted by Gabon

Got to agree with granite here!

If you not going to enjoy it because it will make you feel uncomfortable, then don't do it obviously. However don't beat yourself up about it. Dating isn't a bad idea. Besides being (and not neccessary unclean) good fun it gives you confidence.

Try Genesis 29:16-30

Hey, Gabon. Welcome to TOL!:cool:

[Gabon]

cheers dude!

[cattyfan]

people seem to be lumping "dating" in with "sex". You can do one without the other...and whereas dating without sex is a good idea, the reverse is most certainly not.

People don't usually marry complete strangers these days. How do you suggest you find out if you are compatible if you don't spend any amount of time with the person you want to marry?

If you base your "love" solely on their looks, your relationship will be destined to fail.

You must learn about a person in order to find real love. Without dating, you will not know what kind of person your future spouse is...are they moral...do they make good decisions...what kind of family are they from and what kind of example has their family been for them...how do they interract with others and how do they treat and speak about others...are you able to easily talk to each other about what's important: God, family, your expectations in life, money...these are all things which you need to know BEFORE you commit to marry.

How do you propose you learn these things without a few dinner dates?

Unless you want a mail-order-bride or for mom & dad to find you a spouse....

[Granite]

Well said, catty.

[ShadowMaid]

If you date, and plan on getting married, you could very easily (it's pretty much for sure when you date) become emotionally attached. If that happens, then you would disregard things that would be best not to disregard during marriage.

And during dating, you don't get to know the person as well as most people say. It's because when you're on a date, you tend to lie.

(Edited for grammar)

[Granite]

Originally posted by ShadowMaid

If you date, and plan on getting married, you could very easily (it's pretty much for sure when you date) that you'll become emotionally attached. If that happens, then you would disregard things that would be best not to disregard during marriage.

And during dating, you don't get to know the person as well as most people say. It's because when you're on a date, you tend to lie.

:kookoo:

[cattyfan]

Shadowmaid,

I don't know who you've been dating, but most people don't lie on dates. You've been reading too much about computer dating and ads in newspapers...where, unfortunately, the desperate lie. Choose your dates more wisely, and this is not a problem.

To be honest, if I hadn't dated the man who is now my husband, I would never have married him. I knew him only peripherally from work, and he seemed driven, serious, and a little odd. Only after we dated for a few months did the more accurate picture of who he is emerge. Sure, he's driven and serious at work...but he's also faithful, reliable, hillarious, moral, responsible, loving, incredibly intelligent, and so much more.

Without dating, I would have never known he and I have similar backgrounds and grew up only 6 blocks apart. I wouldn't have known about his belief in God. Quite plainly, I would have missed out on the finest person I've ever known because I would never have really known him.

If not dating, how do you anti-daters propose someone finds a worthy spouse?

[Gabon]

"God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. Sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the planet and you should save it for your wife."

[Delmar]

Originally posted by Gabon

"God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. Sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the planet and you should save it for your wife."

Hey Gabon
What was your screen name before you were banned the first time?

[cattyfan]

Originally posted by Gabon

"God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. Sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the planet and you should save it for your wife."

You should save sex solely for marriage. Sex outside of marriage is a sin.

[Clete]

The problem with dating is that it attempts to base the marriage (if one happens) on the relationship rather than basing the relationship on the marriage. This alone makes it an unbiblical concept.
However, with that having been said, I don't see that most adults have much available to them in the way of alternatives. EHarmony.com seems to have a pretty good system that manages to avoid a lot of the problems inherent to normal dating but you're still going to have a heck of a time finding someone in this society to marry without taking them out on dates unless you want to buy a bride from Indonesia or something.

Resting in Him,
Clete

[cattyfan]

Originally posted by Clete Pfeiffer

The problem with dating is that it attempts to base the marriage (if one happens) on the relationship rather than basing the relationship on the mariage. This alone makes it an unbiblical concept.
However, with that having been said, I don't see that most adults have much available to them in the way of alternatives. EHarmony.com seems to have a pretty good system that manages to avoid a lot of the problems inherent to normal dating but you're still going to have a heck of a time finding someone in this society to marry without taking them out on dates unless you want to buy a bride from Indonesia or something.

Resting in Him,
Clete

EHarmony doesn't do anything that a qualified pastor won't do for you...except EHarmony charges for it. They use the same compatiblity test that most clergy use for pre-marital counseling.

[Clete]

Originally posted by cattyfan

EHarmony doesn't do anything that a qualified pastor won't do for you...except EHarmony charges for it. They use the same compatiblity test that most clergy use for pre-marital counseling.

I can believe that. I actually know very little about them except that I just like the concept.

[cattyfan]

The problem is, unlike clergy, EHarmony doesn't counsel a couple as to how to overcome differences to maintain a good relationship with God at the center.

My husband and I took the test before we got engaged and we scored 100% on several areas but had 2 areas in which we were in need of help. Our pastor was incredibly helpful in teaching us ways to work through those differences and to avoid conflicts that will arise because of these differences. Without that counseling, I suspect we would have arguments that we have subsequently not had to endure.

[Turbo]

Does EHarmony give that test to members up-front, and them match them with other compatible members? (As opposed to churches that typically give the tests to couples after they've already dated a while and become engaged to be married.)

[cattyfan]

They use the test to try to match people up, but this can be a problem in several ways.

It doesn't teach couples to overcome differences.

It could find your match...500 miles away from you (not exactly good for building a relationship.)

It only matches you based on numbers. As I pointed out, Mr. cattyfan and I didn't score perfectly, but we have an amazinlgy strong relationship. If we had been paired by numbers only, we might not have been matched. Our few differences and learning to overcome them have given us strength.

[Clete]

Turbo,

The answer to your question is yes. I have a coworker who is involved with the site and she says that you take the test before you do anything else. Then you are matched based on practically every conceivable variable, including geographic location, religion, love language, temperament, etc.
For example they try to make sure they put you with someone with the same love language but with opposite (i.e. complimentary) temperament. So an introverted person who's love language is touch (he or she likes to cuddle and give back rubs and such) would be paired with an extrovert who also is touchy feely. And while I agree with Cattyfan, that any man can learn to truly love any woman and vise-versa, this sort of pairing strategy give you a huge advantage over simply meeting some fine looking chick while attending Bible college.

Resting in Him,
Clete

[cattyfan]

Originally posted by Clete Pfeiffer

Turbo,

The answer to your question is yes. I have a coworker who is involved with the site and she says that you take the test before you do anything else. Then you are matched based on practically every conceivable variable, including geographic location, religion, love language, temperament, etc.
For example they try to make sure they put you with someone with the same love language but with opposite (i.e. complimentary) temperament. So an introverted person who's love language is touch (he or she likes to cuddle and give back rubs and such) would be paired with an extrovert who also is touchy feely. And while I agree with Cattyfan, that any man can learn to truly love any woman and vise-versa, this sort of pairing strategy give you a huge advantage over simply meeting some fine looking chick while attending Bible college.

Resting in Him,
Clete


I didn't say that at all, and in fact would loudly disagree with that.

I have maintained you have to have common factors to build a successful relationship...common faith, common values, common goals. Without those, you have nothing to build on.

[Clete]

Originally posted by cattyfan

I didn't say that at all, and in fact would loudly disagree with that.

I have maintained you have to have common factors to build a successful relationship...common faith, common values, common goals. Without those, you have nothing to build on.

Quite right! I didn't mean over generalize your position. You and I are basically in agreement I think.

Resting in Him,
Clete

[Yorzhik]

Granite, you deny that lieing is a big part of dating? You deny that people that are emotionaly attached tend to overlook serious problems with a person's character? You would either be a liar or have an extremely poor memory to deny that.

[cattyfan]

Yorzhik,

I ask again, if you never date anyone, how do you choose a worthy spouse?

[Granite]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

Granite, you deny that lieing is a big part of dating? You deny that people that are emotionaly attached tend to overlook serious problems with a person's character? You would either be a liar or have an extremely poor memory to deny that.

Buddy, I'm cynical, but not THAT cynical.

[Yorzhik]

Cattyfan; Yeah, it's a hard case. Culturally, here in the US our options are very limited. But the way to do it is to find parents that also understand that dating is a bad idea. The parents, who can walk away from the whole deal without much emotional pain, find out about the character of the other parent's kids. If the child has similar religious values, similar love language, and the kind of person your child would like to be friends with, then that makes for a good match.

[Yorzhik]

Buddy, I'm cynical, but not THAT cynical.
It isn't as bad as it sounds, but it still isn't very good. We actually probably don't plan to lie or overlook critical faults, but human nature makes it almost impossible not to. We do it unconsciously.

[cattyfan]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

Cattyfan; Yeah, it's a hard case. Culturally, here in the US our options are very limited. But the way to do it is to find parents that also understand that dating is a bad idea. The parents, who can walk away from the whole deal without much emotional pain, find out about the character of the other parent's kids. If the child has similar religious values, similar love language, and the kind of person your child would like to be friends with, then that makes for a good match.

In a perfect world, that might work. If we relied on that these days, though, there would only be 5 marriages every year in the U.S. Parents have become far too detached and disinterested in really being parents. They can't even discipline their kids properly, much less pick them a mate.

Let's be a little more realistic in how people are going to find an appropriate spouse. Arranged marriages are, for better or worse, a thing of the past in this country.

[Delmar]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

Cattyfan; Yeah, it's a hard case. Culturally, here in the US our options are very limited. But the way to do it is to find parents that also understand that dating is a bad idea. The parents, who can walk away from the whole deal without much emotional pain, find out about the character of the other parent's kids. If the child has similar religious values, similar love language, and the kind of person your child would like to be friends with, then that makes for a good match. So if I understand correctly you are planning to arrange marrage for your children is that correct? Do they seem to be on board with the idea?

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept. I am hoping for some sound doctrine and advice from some of you here. I want to know what you beleive the Bible to say, and what would be some good advice and Scripture to offer those who don't think it's a bad idea. I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex.

I've been married twice and both relationships started and ended differently.

I dated James for 7 months before we got married. I was "in love" with him. We were married five months before he decided to leave me with our ten month old daughter. He filed for divorce a couple of months later and our divorce was final on our second anniversary. After the divorce, I found out that he had been hiding a lot about his past from me. Some of those things were what put him in prison until our daughter is twenty-five years old.

I met Steve through my mother. Knowing my mom's taste in men, I was highly skeptical or his character. A year after we met, he helped me out of a bind with the courts (custody fight with James). He drove me, a woman he had met once, three hundred miles from Modesto to Bakersfield to attend my custody hearing. He didn't even know me when he volunteered to do it. We talked the whole trip there and back, finding that we were so much alike. Two weeks later, he told my roommate that he was going to marry me. About six months after that, he asked :jessilu: if she and I would go to the movies and dinner with him. We "dated" for about six months before we got married. None of those "dates" were without :jessilu:. He asked my mom if he could propose to me. Then, he asked me. We were married just over six years before he passed away.

Honestly, I think that the difference between the two marriages was more the fact that I had grown up a lot from the time I was twenty to the time I was twenty-five. At twenty-five, I knew what I wanted. At twenty, I thought that my emotions (falling in love) were more important. When I married Steve, I wasn't in love with him. He knew that I was marrying him because I needed a good, Christian man to help me raise my daughter and he had no problem with that. I grew to love him. But, I don't think that falling in love is necessary for marriage. I trusted God and I trusted Steve. That's why my second marriage worked when my first one failed. If Steve hadn't passed away, I could imagine us being married for fifty years or more.

[Lucky]

Originally posted by cattyfan

Parents have become far too detached and disinterested in really being parents. They can't even discipline their kids properly, much less pick them a mate.
Not only that, but a lot of folks are already grown up and moved out into their own world by the time they start thinking about getting married. The days when mommy and daddy knew what's best for them are long gone. If they're lucky their parents might remember what size of clothes to get them, at best.

[cattyfan]

Originally posted by Lucky

Not only that, but a lot of folks are already grown up and moved out into their own world by the time they start thinking about getting married. The days when mommy and daddy knew what's best for them are long gone. If they're lucky their parents might remember what size of clothes to get them, at best.

Ya got that right. My husband and I were in our early 30s when we got married. And as much as I love my parents, I wouldn't want them picking a husband for me. My mother tends to be a shallow person who places far too much emphasis on money and social position. the minute she found out my husband planned to be a pastor, she would have passed him over for someone with a bigger income. (this is ironic, since my family is lower-middle class.) And My father lets my mother have the final say on virtually everything.

Mom also would have taken a pass on my middle sister's husband. He is a marvelous husband, father, provider, and follower of Christ. My mother doesn't like him (primarily because he's always seen right through her.)

Mom adored my oldest sister's first husband and pushed for their marriage. He left my sister and their two daughters to run off with a younger, thinner, blonder woman.

So much for trusting a parent's instincts.

[Christine]

Yorzhik,

Are you in favor of arranged marriages? If yes, would you be in favor of such even if the children (prospective couple) were unwilling?

[ShadowMaid]

Originally posted by Christine

Yorzhik,

Are you in favor of arranged marriages? If yes, would you be in favor of such even if the children (prospective couple) were unwilling?

Oh, is he ever in favor for arranged marriage!! :darwinsm:

And I'm all for it. :)

[Christine]

Originally posted by ShadowMaid

Oh, is he ever in favor for arranged marriage!! :darwinsm:

And I'm all for it. :)

I was pretty sure he was, just wanted to make sure. I was mainly wondering about the later question. :)

[Yorzhik]

Former question: yes.
Latter question: It depends. If a son, then I'll do what I can to force him to marry. Of course, my pressure will be limited because there is no law that says I can force a child of mine to marry. Now, if it is a daughter, then she can drop out of the arrangement without any pressure to marry.

The difference is in the natures of men and women.

[SOTK]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept. I am hoping for some sound doctrine and advice from some of you here. I want to know what you beleive the Bible to say, and what would be some good advice and Scripture to offer those who don't think it's a bad idea. I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex.

I like the thinking in the majority of the posts in this thread! Personally, I loathed dating when I was single. Most of the girls I "dated" wanted to "date" many men at the same time, and I didn't go for that. My attitude was that I felt it was rude and didn't care for it at all (Yes, I'm old fashioned! ;) ). I also knew that a lot of the women wanted sex, and I didn't go for that also. I felt it was gross and disrespectful to be engaging in this type of behavior while "dating" me at the same time. I tried computer dating, blind dates, etc. All my experiences were the same. Some were Christians (at least they claimed this) and others were not. I eventually grew to feel that this was how "dating" was now a days, and I didn't care for it at all. I just couldn't understand how women would want to date many men at the same time and even be having sex with some of them! I gave up on dating and remained single for quite some time.

I eventually met Mrs. SOTK through my sister in-law. They were members of the same church. Mrs. SOTK and I got to know eachother by going out to dinner with friends and family. Now, some might call this "dating", but I didn't and still don't. We used our free time to get to know eachother for about a month and then decided to court. What courting means to me is that we decided early on that we were going to get to know eachother to marry. That was the goal from almost the beginning. This is a huge difference between "dating" and "courting". When you court somebody, it's exclusive and the idea is to marry that person. Also, there were parameters we set in place on our courting. We placed Christ in the center of our courting! We read courting books together, read the Bible, and prayed together. There was also limited kissing and no sex. Again, I see courting as completely different from dating. I also see courting as biblical.

As for my kids, courting will be the only acceptable form of a pre-marriage relationship in my home!

[BillyBob]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept. I am hoping for some sound doctrine and advice from some of you here. I want to know what you beleive the Bible to say, and what would be some good advice and Scripture to offer those who don't think it's a bad idea. I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex.


Dude, you're a young guy. Go out and have a few flings, get some experience with some babes, take a few out for a 'test drive' and then you'll know what to look for in a woman.

So says BillyBob.....

[BillyBob]

:BillyBob:

[BillyBob]

This whole 'Neo-Christian' idea about not dating is ridiculous. As men, [c'mon Lighthouse, you're almost a man] we are designed to conquer and dominate. We are also designed to defend and protect, and there is nothing more valuable to protect than a woman you have conquered, especially if she is a good cook and does your laundry.

[BillyBob]

I hope Mrs. BillyBob doesn't read this thread.....:noid:

[Eowyn]

I really like SOTKs post. I think there is a way other than the typical "dating" to get to know someone. Just because you aren't quote on quote "dating" doesn't mean you can't really get to know that person on a deeper level. Like SOTK said, courtship is when you are really ready to get married and not just looking for somone who might be good to get to know and maybe would work out for a mate.

[Lighthouse]

Originally posted by deardelmar

Tell them to get married!
They are planning on it. But I still have an issue with the fact that they are doing this. And, to make matters worse, she is an unbeliever.

[Lucky]

Originally posted by BillyBob

Dude, you're a young guy. Go out and have a few flings, get some experience with some babes, take a few out for a 'test drive' and then you'll know what to look for in a woman.

So says BillyBob.....
You don't have any daughters, do you?

[Lighthouse]

Originally posted by deardelmar

I do think if you are going to pick your own wife it makes some sense to spend some amount of time getting to know her better before choosing her as your wife. I don't care what you call it. "Dating" is just a word a lot of Christians like the word "courting" better.
I do agree that becoming romantically involved with someone you have no intention of marrying is a bad idea that leads to pain for both parties.
That's why I plan on choosing from among people I already know.

How many years did you say I have to wait for your daughter?:eek:

:chuckle:

[Lighthouse]

rocky-
How many times do you have to be told to stay out?

[Lighthouse]

Originally posted by Clete Pfeiffer

...meeting some fine looking chick while attending Bible college.
:darwinsm:

[Lighthouse]

:BillyBob:-
:darwinsm:

:SOTK:-
:thumb:

[Jefferson]

Originally posted by lighthouse

They are planning on it. But I still have an issue with the fact that they are doing this. And, to make matters worse, she is an unbeliever. He's planning on marrying an unbeliever? What does he think about 2 Corinthians 6:14? - "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by Jefferson

He's planning on marrying an unbeliever? What does he think about 2 Corinthians 6:14? - "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" He's thinking that he doesn't care because she's HOT! Well, I could be wrong, but, I'm assuming that is how he is thinking, sharing his gender and all.

[the Sibbie]

Originally posted by SOTK
As for my kids, courting will be the only acceptable form of a pre-marriage relationship in my home! I think that's a great idea. I also think arranged marriages are fine. The way I see an arranged marriage is perhaps different then some though. If Turbo and I ever did that with our kids, I'd imagine picking a spouse for our child from a family that we were pretty good friends with and trusted, a person our child already had a friendship with. And of course I wouldn't force them to marry someone they had no interest in either.

But as for dating, I tell my brother all the time that he shouldn't date unless he is financially and emotionally ready for marriage. I don't think you should date someone if you wouldn't ever consider marrying them either. Dating shouldn't be just for "something to do" or "someone to cuddle." That type of dating usually ends up with one person feeling used and heartbroken.

[Mr. 5020]

Dating is cool!

[Mr. 5020]

Ok, I admit it. That was spam.

:spam:

[Turbo]

:spam: is cool!

[the Sibbie]

Perhaps we should have :spam: for dinner?

[Turbo]

:nono:

[Christine]

Originally posted by Yorzhik

Latter question: It depends. If a son, then I'll do what I can to force him to marry. Of course, my pressure will be limited because there is no law that says I can force a child of mine to marry. Now, if it is a daughter, then she can drop out of the arrangement without any pressure to marry.

The difference is in the natures of men and women.
Would you force your son to marry this girl simply because they were "promised" to each other? I'm trying to what your reason(s) would be for forcing your child to marry someone. :) Also, if you have any Biblical support for arranged marriages, I'd love to see that too.

[Clete]

Originally posted by the Sibbie

Perhaps we should have :spam: for dinner?

My wife and I have date night on Wednesdays.
Maybe we'll cook some :spam: this week!

[Poly]

Originally posted by Clete Pfeiffer

My wife and I have date night on Wednesdays.
Maybe we'll cook some :spam: this week!

How romantic.... NOT! :nono:

[Clete]

Originally posted by Poly

How romantic.... NOT! :nono:

Hey, I don't :spam: that often, you gotta cut me some slack! ;)

[Poly]

Originally posted by Clete Pfeiffer

Hey, I don't :spam: that often, you gotta cut me some slack! ;)

No you don't. In fact I've had to do a double take the few times I've seen you spam. "Is that Clete?!" :noway:

[cattyfan]

my husband and I still go on "dates"...out for dinner, to a movie, or to the zoo. Things like that. And because it's planned time together, it gives us something to look forward to instead of the same old day.

Unlike when we were single, though, now at the end of the date, we go to the same house :)

[Poly]

Originally posted by cattyfan


Unlike when we were single, though, now at the end of the date, we go to the same house :)
And the best part of that is it helps save money on gas! :D

[Lighthouse]

Originally posted by Jefferson

He's planning on marrying an unbeliever? What does he think about 2 Corinthians 6:14? - "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
Why don't you ask him?

Mr. 5020 is probably right. But you know as well as I do that those two are perfect for each other apart from their religious and political beliefs. I think he needs to give that some serious thought, though. And he needs to realize that Michael Moore is full of crap, and so is that crappy movie of his.

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by lighthouse

Mr. 5020 is probably right. This is truth.

:chuckle:

[Lighthouse]

Just think Shannon Elizabeth, if she were a "girl next door" type.

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by lighthouse

Just think Shannon Elizabeth, if she were a "girl next door" type. :think:

[Lucky]

Originally posted by Mr. 5020

:think:
What's your girlfriend's email address?

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by Lucky

What's your girlfriend's email address? By the :think: smiley, I was showing that I was thinking about how wrong it would be to think about Shannon Elizabeth due to the fact that I have a wonderful girlfriend. But if you must know, her e-mail address is oscar [at] boldministries [dot] org.

[Lucky]

Your girlfriend's name is "Oscar"? :shocked:

[BillyBob]

Originally posted by Lucky

Your girlfriend's name is "Oscar"? :shocked:

How did you oscar out on a date the first time? :freak:

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by Lucky

Your girlfriend's name is "Oscar"? :shocked: She tells everyone to e-mail her through my e-mail address. She doesn't have Net access at her house.

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by BillyBob

How did you oscar out on a date the first time? :freak: *sigh*

Here we go again.

[Lighthouse]

I'm just curious how you got a girlfriend, in the first place. Does she wear sunglasses and carry a walking stick?:eek:

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I'm just curious how you got a girlfriend, in the first place. Does she wear sunglasses and carry a walking stick?:eek: Usually she just uses a seeing-eye dog, which happens to be 5'8", Mexican, and chubby.

[Lucky]

Originally posted by Mr. 5020

Usually she just uses a seeing-eye dog, which happens to be 5'8", Mexican, and chubby.
That's one big chihuahua.

[Mr. 5020]

Yo quiero Taco Bell, baby!

[Lighthouse]

:darwinsm:

[Delmar]

Originally posted by lighthouse

That's why I plan on choosing from among people I already know.

How many years did you say I have to wait for your daughter?:eek:

:chuckle: 7 years should do. Are you willing to work for me for that long?

[Mr. 5020]

Make sure he doesn't have 2 daughters!

[Greywolf]

Originally posted by Mr. 5020
Make sure he doesn't have 2 daughters!

:ha:

[Lighthouse]

:chuckle:

[Mr. 5020]

I have a super-model girlfriend. I would post a picture, but I don't have a scanner.

:darwinsm:

[Lighthouse]

The only super-model girlfriend I need is one who conforms to Proverbs 31.

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by lighthouse

The only super-model girlfriend I need is one who conforms to Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 describes a super-model?

[Lighthouse]

In my opinion it does. It's a super model for women to follow.:D

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by lighthouse

In my opinion it does. It's a super model for women to follow.:D Perhaps you need Puns 101, taught by Dr. BillyBob.

[Lighthouse]

I wasn't trying to make a pun.

[Yorzhik]

Originally posted by Christine
Would you force your son to marry this girl simply because they were "promised" to each other?
Well, force is a word with different connotations. But, yes, I would use whatever pressure I could bring to bear to try and insure that a son could not back out once he has been "promised" to a particular girl.

I'm trying to what your reason(s) would be for forcing your child to marry someone. :) Also, if you have any Biblical support for arranged marriages, I'd love to see that too.
The reason to influence a child not to back out is because children will back out for poor reasons due to immaturity and ignorance. Why let someone do something that will ruin their lives just because they didn't have some experience? That would be cruel, and I don't want to be cruel with my children.

The biblical support for arranged marriages is by case. God relates instances of both cases where the parents got a wife for a son and also where a son goes and gets his own wife. But 2 very prominent cases of sons choosing their own wives are those of Samson and Esau. And in both those cases, wiser choices would have been assured if the parents had decided. The most prominent case of a parent choosing a wife for a son is Isaac and Rebekah. The outcomes of those cases speak for themselves.

[Mustard Seed]

Originally posted by lighthouse

I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong. And I do not believe it to be a Biblical concept. I am hoping for some sound doctrine and advice from some of you here. I want to know what you beleive the Bible to say, and what would be some good advice and Scripture to offer those who don't think it's a bad idea. I would also appreciate some things I could say to some of my Christian friends who are involved in physical relationships, from kissing to "making out" to sex.

It's sad that dating (a great vehichle for finding a good wife) is sullied by today's cultures attempt to link making out, sex, etc. with it as if it was a necesary part. Such in my opinion destroys the entire purpose of dating which is getting to know (not in the biblical sense of 'knowing' that is synonymous with intercourse) the mind and heart of a potential mate. I think if dating involves wholesome activities (be it a walk together, a game, a meal, wholesome entertainment) is far better than what was used biblicaly, that being aranged marraiges. While I know such arangements have had their place in history I believe that one of the best things that's happened to the potential for deep lasting love is the release of the responsibility for matching couples being on the social structure. I think individuals have the best capacity (notice I said only capacity) to chose whom would be best for them. I know that this capacity is seldom used and is often comprimized but it looks to me like capitalism/freemarkets. While alot of problems occure because everyone is a 'freeagent' it beats the heck out of some removed entity making the mistakes for you. It's alot easier to live with our own mistakes (I believe) than it would be to endure mistakes made by someone else and forced on us.

Just my two cents though.

[Lighthouse]

For some reason, I don't trust a Mormon on matters of the Bible.:think:

[Mustard Seed]

Originally posted by lighthouse

For some reason, I don't trust a Mormon on matters of the Bible.:think:

I never told you to trust me on it. This is not so much my theology (arranged marriage has it's part in LDS Restoration theology). I'm just using my reasoning. I have a good friend in my same faith that would likely be closer to your side of the argument on arranged marriages so it's not accurate or very intellegent/rational too impugn my opinion simply because of my religious denomination.

[Lighthouse]

What did I say about arranged marriages? I don't remember mentioning it.:think:

[Mr. 5020]

Originally posted by lighthouse

What did I say about arranged marriages? I don't remember mentioning it.:think: Mormons just make stuff up as they go along.

[Chileice]

Originally posted by Mr. 5020

Mormons just make stuff up as they go along.

Lighthouse must be a Mormon, then. He does plenty of that!

[Mustard Seed]

Originally posted by lighthouse

What did I say about arranged marriages? I don't remember mentioning it.:think:

...I used to think that having a girlfriend was an okay thing, and that dating was all right. But I have begun to come to the conclusion that this is wrong.

Well, unless you want to rule out lottery selection or some other arbitrary way of getting around dating then an arranged marriage kinda would be the only other option of finding a future companion of the other gender. Unless of course you're just going to go the way of a celebate. But I don't think celebacy for life is doctrinal.

[Mustard Seed]

Originally posted by Mr. 5020

Mormons just make stuff up as they go along.


We accept revelation from God. That's not pulling stuff out of nowhere. Of course we don't believe God reveals every single thing were suppose to do every day of our lives to us so of necesity we need to 'make up stuff as [we] go along'. But we never do such to derive doctrine. If you do that you come up with things like the spiritualized deviations on doctrine that came out of the academia of Alexandria and into some of the Christian thought of the day.

[Lighthouse]

Originally posted by Mustard Seed

Well, unless you want to rule out lottery selection or some other arbitrary way of getting around dating then an arranged marriage kinda would be the only other option of finding a future companion of the other gender. Unless of course you're just going to go the way of a celebate. But I don't think celebacy for life is doctrinal.
You've got to be kidding me! You really are a moron, aren't you? You have no clue what I was talking about. When I said dating, I meant dating around.:doh: I didn't mean anything about getting to know people, as friends...and maybe something develops. Are you too dense to think about that? Did that not cross your mind? And celibacy is doctrinal. Read Paul's epistles sometime.:rolleyes:

[SOTK]

:chuckle: