From the mailbag.

[Knight]

TheologyOnLine gets mail from some pretty important people! The below message was in the mailbag this morning.....

--------------

Dear Sir,

Having seen yesterday on the TV pope JOHN PAUL II, baptising little BABIES in VATICAN, which is ABSOLUTELY NOT his OBLIGATION, but a DUTY of my sweet BROTHERS FREDERICK CHOPIN, WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART, JOHAN SEBASTIAN BACH, BRANDON & BRUCE LEE, JOHN, PAUL (from THE BEATLES"), HERMES TRISMEGISTUS, VLADIMIR VISOTSKI, HRISTO BOTEV and the others from the GOD'S KINGDOM, it FLASHED across my MIND, that:

Before the assassination of the SUPREME EGYPTIAN GOD OSIRIS/JESUS CHRIST some 5,500 years ago, it was me, who was doing this DIFFICULT JOB, however, not by POURING WATER over the BABY's pritty HEAD, but by CHARGING the whole BABY's BODY with a (SPIRITUAL/INFORMATION) ENERGY/FIRE !

Since I have permanent AUTHORISED ACCESS to our LORD's SUPER COMPUTER DATA BASES, I can easily read the INFORMATION concerning the given CHILD, so that to TELL HER/HIM what are the QUALITIES, which should be reasonably further CULTIVATED during the respective reincarnation of the creature being baptised !

One of my colleagues - JOAN the BAPTIST, who was INTENTIONALLY reincarnated also as the PROMINENT Bulgarian POET HRISTO BOTEV, was doing such SPECIAL MISSION by using WATER from the JORDAN RIVER ...

Regards,

THE SUPREME GODDESS ISIS / THE GODDESS OF THE RAINBOW IRIS / THE VIRGIN MARY MAGDALENE + JESUS CHRIST
(from "IMPROMPTU" + "THE MATRIX")

[Mara]

What a fruitcake!

[la rubia]

Originally posted by Sozo
Grandma!!! I told you to stay away from my computer!

*Sorry Knight!*

:doh: ...oh come on Grandma put down the scotch and go to your room!

*I tell you it never ends around here...*
LOL! I figured it had to be someone related to you!:crackup: :D

[Mara]

ROFL! That's classic, Sozo! :thumb:

[ibowatjesusfeet]

With all the capitalization and general theme, that could have been sent by Omega.

[Knight]

Originally posted by ibowatjesusfeet
With all the capitalization and general theme, that could have been sent by Omega. Nah... to many complete sentences in this note.

[ibowatjesusfeet]

Oh, right, I forgot about that.

[Dee Dee Warren]

Was it Troy??

[Knight]

Originally posted by Dee Dee Warren
Was it Troy?? Well the message says it was from.... THE SUPREME GODDESS ISIS / THE GODDESS OF THE RAINBOW IRIS / THE VIRGIN MARY MAGDALENE + JESUS CHRIST
(from "IMPROMPTU" + "THE MATRIX")

[ibowatjesusfeet]

Was it Dee Dee, that sounds like how she'd describe herself.

[Knight]

Originally posted by ibowatjesusfeet
Was it Dee Dee, that sounds like how she'd describe herself. LOL :D

[Dee Dee Warren]

Maybe THAT should be my new moniker....

[ibowatjesusfeet]

Supreme Goddess of the Rainbow...Never mind, it almost sounds like the leader of a gay group.

[Mara]

Here is my take on it. Upon closer reading, it would seem that:


He/She is showing off a knowledge of several historical figures.
He/She is claiming/believes himself/herself to be immortal
He/She is spouting New Age junk.


My summation is either the person is truely delusional and deceived, or else is using veiled sarcasm to claim that all religions (including Christianity) are one in the same. Any one have anything to add?

[la rubia]

hmmm... maybe it's patroclus just playin' around.

[Mara]

Somehow, I don't think so. I get the feeling it is from someone who is either an atheist or else someone who is exhaustively fed up with Christians. On the other hand, Patroclus does refer to himself as a "rabble-rouser." So maybe I'm wrong? ;)

[Knight]

clever! :D

[Dee Dee Warren]

That is funny!!! It has been a clever day overall on TOL today.

[Knight]

Originally posted by Dee Dee Warren
That is funny!!! It has been a clever day overall on TOL today. Until that post. ;) :D

[Mara]

:crackup:

Get her, Knight! :D She got my goat really good over on that "Help Dee Dee Come up with a New Moniker..." thread. :noid:

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Mara
:crackup:

Get her, Knight! :D She got my goat really good over on that "Help Dee Dee Come up with a New Moniker..." thread. :noid:

>whisper to Mara< I didn't know you had a goat too! :D

[Mara]

:rolleyes:

I think I'll shut up now. :D

[ebenz47037]

:D Does your goat have three legs too? :D

[Mara]

*drums fingers on the desk*

Are you quite finished? :rolleyes:

I'm gonna have to think long and hard on how to get retribution on this... :p

[ebenz47037]

LOL! :crackup: Okay! Whatever you say. Now, I'm going to have to do something to remind you of it. :D

[Mara]

Originally posted by Knight
Well the message says it was from....

Of course, it might be from a vampire (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030110/od_nm/odd_malawi_vampires_dc_1)

[Yxboom]

Originally posted by Mara


Of course, it might be from a vampire (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030110/od_nm/odd_malawi_vampires_dc_1) Or the undisputed champion of 3-legged races around the world :thumb:

[ebenz47037]

Hey Knight! You ought to change Mara's moniker to 3 legged race champion

[Yxboom]

Originally posted by ebenz47037
Hey Knight! You ought to change Mara's moniker to 3 legged race champion ROF:crackup:

>ahem< That is undefeated 3 legged race champion :D

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Yxboom
ROF:crackup:

>ahem< That is undefeated 3 legged race champion :D

LOL! That's even better!

[Yxboom]

Originally posted by ebenz47037
:D Does your goat have three legs too? :D No but I have it reliably that her cats do...

[Mara]

I think it is WAY past y'all's bedtime!

[ebenz47037]

Not yet, Mara! :crackup: I'm having too much fun. And, I think Boom's what 5 hours behind me? :D

[Yxboom]

Of course there is always her 2 dogs...

Speedy

[Yxboom]

and Itchy...

[Mara]

Originally posted by Yxboom
No but I have it reliably that her cats do...

No, actually, this is my cat

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images/q-t/steroids.jpg

(Note to self: subscribe very soon!)

[Yxboom]

You lie there are 4 legs.

[Yxboom]

Of course there is the reject in the family.......the 6-legged cow, Sniffy.

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Yxboom
You lie there are 4 legs.

LOL! I need to find some pics! :D

[Mara]

Originally posted by Yxboom
You lie there are 4 legs.

If you say you can see four legs on that cat, then you lie.

:D

[ebenz47037]

A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.
Pretty fast chicken, he thought, I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph! The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!!

Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long
driveway leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard and dozens of three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the farmer "How did you
get all these three legged chickens?"

The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya see it's me, my wife and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece."

"That's amazing!" said the driver "How do they taste?"

"Don't rightly know, can't catch 'em."

[Yxboom]

I can't forget Mara's pet frog, Hopper.

[Mara]

Originally posted by ebenz47037
A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.
Pretty fast chicken, he thought, I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph! The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!!

Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long
driveway leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard and dozens of three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the farmer "How did you
get all these three legged chickens?"

The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya see it's me, my wife and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece."

"That's amazing!" said the driver "How do they taste?"

"Don't rightly know, can't catch 'em."

:crackup:

[Yxboom]

and o'course there is her rooster, Fluffy.

[ebenz47037]

Boom, are these pics in your personal collection? I can't find any good pictures to send in. :(

[Mara]

Originally posted by Yxboom
I can't forget Mara's pet frog, Hopper.

Ewww.

A scientist decided to run an experiment on a frog's jumping ability. First of all for the control, he told the frog to jump. The frog jumped 10 inches. The scientist records this. Then he cuts off one leg and then tells the frog to jump. The frog jumps 8 inches. The scientist writes: 3 legs = 8 inches. The scientist then cuts off another leg and tells the frog to jump. This time the frog only jumps 5 inches. The scientists records: 2 legs = 5 inches. The scientist proceeds to cut off the third leg. Upon the command, the frog jumps only 2 inches. The scientist dutifuly writes: 1 leg = 2 inches. Finally the scientist cuts off the fourth leg and tells the frog to jump. . . The frog doesn't move. The scientist ponders this for a minute then write: 0 legs = the frog goes deaf.

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Mara


Ewww.

A scientist decided to run an experiment on a frog's jumping ability. First of all for the control, he told the frog to jump. The frog jumped 10 inches. The scientist records this. Then he cuts off one leg and then tells the frog to jump. The frog jumps 8 inches. The scientist writes: 3 legs = 8 inches. The scientist then cuts off another leg and tells the frog to jump. This time the frog only jumps 5 inches. The scientists records: 2 legs = 5 inches. The scientist proceeds to cut off the third leg. Upon the command, the frog jumps only 2 inches. The scientist dutifuly writes: 1 leg = 2 inches. Finally the scientist cuts off the fourth leg and tells the frog to jump. . . The frog doesn't move. The scientist ponders this for a minute then write: 0 legs = the frog goes deaf.

Was the scientist blonde? :crackup:

[Mara]

Was the scientist blonde?


Scientist 1: Sir, we've run into a serious problem with the mission. These Nielsen ratings are the lowest ever.
Scientist 2: Oh my God - we've been beaten by "A Connie Chung Christmas"! (http://www.synergizedsolutions.com/simpsons/pictures/bart/scientist.gif)

[Yxboom]

Originally posted by Mara


If you say you can see four legs on that cat, then you lie.

:D :nono:

[ebenz47037]

Mara's cat is getting tired of the 3-legged jokes:

[ebenz47037]

And, her neighbors were kind enough to let her borrow their dog so her three-legged dog could get around.

[Dee Dee Warren]

How do you like my new avatar??

[Solly]

White girls can't score.

[Dee Dee Warren]

Boom, are these pics in your personal collection?

It would frighten me if Boom had a personal collection of pics of three-legged animals.

[Dee Dee Warren]

I heard Mara got a tatoo.....

[Dee Dee Warren]

She paid for it with this....

[Dee Dee Warren]

Clean up your toys!!!

[la rubia]

Ewwww......
These images are totally grossing me out.

[Dee Dee Warren]

It could be worse....

[Dee Dee Warren]

Or if she were a preterist....

[Mara]

Ya know, this thread has gone severely awry. :rolleyes:

Hmmmm, I wonder if it could be considered: thread hi-jacking?

[Dee Dee Warren]

I don't see Knight complaining.....

[Mara]

Originally posted by Dee Dee Warren
I don't see Knight complaining.....

Talkin' dang ol' dang favoritism ol' talkin' pull out the dang ol' dang big guns ol' hafta dang ol' subscribe. Dang it! (http://www.fox.com/kingofthehill/bios/boom.htm)

:D



(Edited to add link)

[GraceInMe]

Boy did I pick the wrong day to read a book!

[cirisme]

Wow, what a nut. :crackup:

(the person who sent the letter ;))

[GraceInMe]

Originally posted by cirisme
Wow, what a nut. :crackup:

(the person who sent the letter ;))

You obviously don't know how cool Boomhauer is!:rolleyes:

[Mara]

Originally posted by GraceInMe


You obviously don't know how cool Boomhauer is!:rolleyes:

Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
-- Boomhauer ;) :D

BTW, Ripley's cool! :thumb:

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Mara


;) :D

BTW, Ripley's cool! :thumb:

Yep! :D She's my role model! :D

[Yxboom]

I thought the three-legged girl was

[ebenz47037]

Originally posted by Yxboom
I thought the three-legged girl was

Nah! :D You have to admit, though, that it takes a lot of courage to put up with merciless teasing from her "friends." :D

But, Ripley's another story altogether! With everything that happens to her, she keeps coming back. Hmmm, kinda sounds like the terminator. :D

[Lucky]

Originally posted by ibowatjesusfeet
With all the capitalization and general theme, that could have been sent by Omega.
My first thought.



This thread is hilarious! :darwinsm: