New email just in from God. Remodeling in Heaven. In response to popular demand, the Pearly Gates have been removed, and replaced with the Golden Arches. Now there are cheeseburgers. Let's hear it for The Big Guy Yaaayyyyyyy !!!

:cloud9:

Ted L Glines

I had a dream. One day (maybe the Eighth Day), God got curious and decided to go see some of the things He had created. So He grabbed His tools and skated off through the universe. God looked at this and that. Over here, he saw something which looked pretty cool. Over there, God saw something which was very cool. And He spotted something else which was way-cool. "Wow!" He said. And then God came upon a little bitty insignificant planet, and what did His eyes see? On this dumb little planet, things were wriggling. Things were flying and walking and running and jumping and slithering and swimming and burrowing in the ground. And one of the things killed another of the things. So much wriggling. God could not believe His eyes. So God whipped out his can of Celestial Raid and "Pssssssssssstttttt" took care of THAT problem. God continued on His tour, shaking His head.

So, the next time you get your ego tied in a knot, and you start mumbling about how God is all about YOU, remember that this dream might have been ... a ... vision ...

:wave2:

Ted L Glines

Who hates God? No one has expressed hatred toward God. For a Deist, God is All and respect is Total. If God cares about the welfare and feelings of you, personally, then so be it, but the Deist does not require God to do so. Some Deists may refer to God as "He" but many do not if they do not require God to be masculine (or feminine), for sex is a worldly thing, only needful for the physical replication of worldly creatures. For most Deists, their soul is the image of God, not their temporary mortal form with its need for sexual orientation to reproduce itself. To a Deist, you are on your own during this brief mortal sojourn, to exercise your free will, to care for yourself, to care for others, and to care for God. Or not, as may be your choice. If there is any hatred in that, it will be in the way you express your own choices. :wave:

Ted L Glines

I will run for President. I cannot lose. What I propose will make everybody happy. "Pot Brownies," you ask? No, no, even better than that. When I am elected, there will be a dead horse on every front porch. So every American, whenever they feel a bug up their (beep), can run out on the porch and beat that dead horse until they are satisfied and happy again. Talk about great therapy! (Why should TOLers have all the fun?) How can I lose, with a campaign promise like that ???

:rolleyes:

Ted L Glines

[CENTER][SIZE="6"]Tower[/SIZE]


look now, see and look
see how they quote from a book
their friends grin and applaud
worship a book instead of God
the loss, the loss, unholy loss
they worship a bloodied cross
singing songs to please us
scorning the plea of Jesus
denominations -- screaming rabble
see, another Tower of Babel
thirty-plus versions to study
all of them more or less bloody
repent and ye shall not be liable
self-righteous -- this Tower of Bible
but Jesus had impact on you
whether christian -- muslim -- or jew
he gave you his fishes and loaves
but you turned away in droves
never giving Jesus a nod
while you worship your book -- not God
give us a quote -- take a peek
at those words translated from Greek
written by human men
you worship those frail little men
so you quote and quote, again and again
and you don't remember way back when
when the prophet cast down his rod
and you knew to worship God
-----O-----
thirty-plus versions to study
all of them more or less bloody
repent and ye shall not be liable
self-righteous -- you Tower of Bible[/CENTER]

Ted L Glines