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Observations Great and Small - February 5th, 2008, 10:25 PM

I thought it might be interesting to have a thread where the miscellaneous observations of life could be made without worrying about hijacking a thread, since hijacking would be the entire point in the first place. I intend to post every few days or so and encourage anyone with an odd gripe or idea to feel free to throw it into the mix without concern.

Starting things off: A Potential Solution for Old, Slow Drivers.

Anyone who drives more than fifteen miles below the posted speed limit should be required by law to throw candy and wave. That way at least those of us trapped behind them would feel like we were a part of something meaningful...

At least that's my idea.

Next.



   
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February 5th, 2008, 10:34 PM

i always have a problem with those 3 or 4 chatty teenage girls that always totally ruin a movie for me. for example i come to see the bourne ultimatum cause its full of great action, not just cause its got matt damon in it. i mean seriously, they need to put his movies all with subtitles so i know whats going on. the only nice fix for that problem i suppose would be if i were to pay for them to go to the next show of oprah with him on it if they leave. but no, never.





But I'll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you'll come to understand that you're connected with everything. - Alan Watts
   
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February 5th, 2008, 10:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilIsOnlyAConcept View Post
i always have a problem with those 3 or 4 chatty teenage girls that always totally ruin a movie for me. for example i come to see the bourne ultimatum cause its full of great action, not just cause its got matt damon in it. i mean seriously, they need to put his movies all with subtitles so i know whats going on. the only nice fix for that problem i suppose would be if i were to pay for them to go to the next show of oprah with him on it if they leave. but no, never.
This is why I prefer to rent a DVD and watch it at home in comfort and privacy.







   
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February 5th, 2008, 10:53 PM

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Originally Posted by Jinkx View Post
This is why I prefer to rent a DVD and watch it at home in comfort and privacy.
ah, very true.





But I'll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you'll come to understand that you're connected with everything. - Alan Watts
   
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February 5th, 2008, 10:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilIsOnlyAConcept View Post
i always have a problem with those 3 or 4 chatty teenage girls that always totally ruin a movie for me. for example i come to see the bourne ultimatum cause its full of great action, not just cause its got matt damon in it. i mean seriously, they need to put his movies all with subtitles so i know whats going on. the only nice fix for that problem i suppose would be if i were to pay for them to go to the next show of oprah with him on it if they leave. but no, never.
The ones who show up only after you've settled in and will sit behind you even if the theatre is half empty? The ones who make you want to scream "Inside voices please!"? It's also great if they wait to unwrap thier candy until the movie is under way...



   
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February 5th, 2008, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Town Heretic View Post
The ones who show up only after you've settled in and will sit behind you even if the theatre is half empty? The ones who make you want to scream "Inside voices please!"? It's also great if they wait to unwrap thier candy until the movie is under way...
yes omg!! and then u got the familes that come in and they bring their food. so u end up with one guy constantly digging into a bag of chips. the bag all making crunching sounds left and right and he doesnt eat with his mouth closed. yeah, it totally irks me. but then that gets into any odd sounds irks me. like dripping water or the sound of someone typing that isnt myself.





But I'll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you'll come to understand that you're connected with everything. - Alan Watts
   
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February 6th, 2008, 01:22 AM

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Originally Posted by Town Heretic View Post
The ones who show up only after you've settled in and will sit behind you even if the theatre is half empty?
I can't stand when you get some hyper-active kid that kicks the chairs of the row that you're in.



   
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February 6th, 2008, 10:16 AM

I recently contributed to an odd fact thread and thought I’d share some of the ones that didn’t make my initial cut.

Did you know you can't lick your elbow? Apparently true, but I had to wonder who first noticed that---and why.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. With stupid people it's mostly bong-resin.

The most popular boat name requested by owners: Obsession.

The least popular boat name requested by owners: Old Leaky.

Environmentalist joke for today:
Question: How do you cook a penguin?
Answer: Vote Republican.

I kid because I love. And don't worry, I'll take a poke at the left at some point.



   
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February 6th, 2008, 11:23 PM

Anyone who participated in the movie thread understands that I love It’s a Wonderful Life, it has always left me with mixed emotions after viewing it. On the one hand, it’s an enjoyable film with an uplifting message; on the other hand, it leaves a number of puzzling questions and observations in its wake. For instance:

1. The most obvious irritant left dangling at the movie’s conclusion is the fact that evil old Mr. Potter still has about $8,000.00 of other people’s money in his cold little hands and no one is the wiser. That's a lot of jack in barely post WWII times.

Would it have been too much to ask for a cut-scene where Potter is stuck in his wheel-chair in the snow while wolves slowly descend upon him or one showing him being murdered by his butler--the only other living soul who knows he has the missing cash?

2. Why does anybody give the job of depositing eight grand to Uncle Billy, a man who can’t be trusted to remember George’s wedding day and whose best friend in the world is, apparently, a squirrel?

3. After the townspeople show up with money how is it that the sheriff decides he doesn’t need to worry about those pesky criminal charges…and why exactly does the bank examiner agree?

4. And why does everyone keep dolling out money after the telegram arrives announcing up to 25K could be advanced by the town rich-kid anyway?

5. George’s brother Harry dies after falling through an icy patch without George to save him---meaning that everything leading up to that day and the infamous “shovel sled catastrophe” was completely unaffected by George’s absence...which makes the otherwise horrific impact in terms of later events all the more mystifying.

6. George’s beautiful, well educated and capable wife becomes a spinster without him around for her to fall in love with. And this in turn leads to her wearing dowdy, unattractive clothes and, somehow, to vision problems that can then only be resolved with really bad looking eye-glasses.

7. Why is it that without George around Uncle Billy, who seemed reasonably okay with the idea of the building and loan closing prior to George saving the day, goes insane and ends up in a mental institution?

8. Why does Bedford Falls become something akin to New Sodom without George, as the town movie house, lovely homes, and quaint shops, are replaced with pawn shops, liquor stores, cat houses, and various other dens of iniquity?

9. We don’t learn what happens to George’s former housekeeper, but we can only assume that she is a prostitute.

10. Violet, the town beauty, becomes a prostitute…

11. Without George as a moral compass, Bert the cop, who should be a responsible war-hero, thinks firing his pistol wildly at a man who is at worst drunk and disorderly is pretty fine police work while cabby Ernie, the once happy go lucky troubadour, is left by his wife (presumably because George wasn't there to build Bailey Court--you can't underestimate the value of a well built home).

I suppose taking the obvious importance of George in the world it is equally safe to assume that without him being present to fight the Battle of Bedford Falls resource drives or act as air-raid warden, etc., the Nazi’s probably won the war and all non-Aryans were rounded up and done away with (which might be the alternate explanation of what happened to his housekeeper).

Man, that George Bailey really was important...

Anyway, those are just a few things that have always bugged me.



   
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February 6th, 2008, 11:39 PM

The worst theatre experience I have had was when we sat behind two fat men who pulled out a 5th of booze and mixed it with coke, got drunk and smoked cigars



   
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February 6th, 2008, 11:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Ktoyou View Post
The worst theatre experience I have had was when we sat behind two fat men who pulled out a 5th of booze and mixed it with coke, got drunk and smoked cigars
I had that happen at a football game once the day after I had been...let's say celebrating the inevitable victory prematurely (add immaturely to that as well). Nothing like being vaguely queasy before those smells greet you. (we need a green faced smiley)



   
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February 7th, 2008, 12:02 AM

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Originally Posted by Ktoyou View Post
The worst theatre experience I have had was when we sat behind two fat men who pulled out a 5th of booze and mixed it with coke, got drunk and smoked cigars
So that was you behind us?





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February 7th, 2008, 01:38 PM

I see all these pretty girls on campus, and I think to myself 'Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink'



   
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February 7th, 2008, 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Town Heretic View Post
Anyone who participated in the movie thread understands that I love It’s a Wonderful Life, it has always left me with mixed emotions after viewing it. On the one hand, it’s an enjoyable film with an uplifting message; on the other hand, it leaves a number of puzzling questions and observations in its wake. For instance:

1. The most obvious irritant left dangling at the movie’s conclusion is the fact that evil old Mr. Potter still has about $8,000.00 of other people’s money in his cold little hands and no one is the wiser. That's a lot of jack in barely post WWII times.

Would it have been too much to ask for a cut-scene where Potter is stuck in his wheel-chair in the snow while wolves slowly descend upon him or one showing him being murdered by his butler--the only other living soul who knows he has the missing cash?

2. Why does anybody give the job of depositing eight grand to Uncle Billy, a man who can’t be trusted to remember George’s wedding day and whose best friend in the world is, apparently, a squirrel?

3. After the townspeople show up with money how is it that the sheriff decides he doesn’t need to worry about those pesky criminal charges…and why exactly does the bank examiner agree?

4. And why does everyone keep dolling out money after the telegram arrives announcing up to 25K could be advanced by the town rich-kid anyway?

5. George’s brother Harry dies after falling through an icy patch without George to save him---meaning that everything leading up to that day and the infamous “shovel sled catastrophe” was completely unaffected by George’s absence...which makes the otherwise horrific impact in terms of later events all the more mystifying.

6. George’s beautiful, well educated and capable wife becomes a spinster without him around for her to fall in love with. And this in turn leads to her wearing dowdy, unattractive clothes and, somehow, to vision problems that can then only be resolved with really bad looking eye-glasses.

7. Why is it that without George around Uncle Billy, who seemed reasonably okay with the idea of the building and loan closing prior to George saving the day, goes insane and ends up in a mental institution?

8. Why does Bedford Falls become something akin to New Sodom without George, as the town movie house, lovely homes, and quaint shops, are replaced with pawn shops, liquor stores, cat houses, and various other dens of iniquity?

9. We don’t learn what happens to George’s former housekeeper, but we can only assume that she is a prostitute.

10. Violet, the town beauty, becomes a prostitute…

11. Without George as a moral compass, Bert the cop, who should be a responsible war-hero, thinks firing his pistol wildly at a man who is at worst drunk and disorderly is pretty fine police work while cabby Ernie, the once happy go lucky troubadour, is left by his wife (presumably because George wasn't there to build Bailey Court--you can't underestimate the value of a well built home).

I suppose taking the obvious importance of George in the world it is equally safe to assume that without him being present to fight the Battle of Bedford Falls resource drives or act as air-raid warden, etc., the Nazi’s probably won the war and all non-Aryans were rounded up and done away with (which might be the alternate explanation of what happened to his housekeeper).

Man, that George Bailey really was important...

Anyway, those are just a few things that have always bugged me.
Uh, a little too much time on your hands, TH?





Winner of the "Americans who love Britcoms" Award.
   
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February 7th, 2008, 09:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FellowServant View Post
Uh, a little too much time on your hands, TH?


It's possible. I suppose it's possible. But if I really did I'd more than likely end up doing something oddly creative, like:

Mostly True News


Binge Drinking Highest in Ireland

Brussels, AP—Binge drinking continues to be a problem in Ireland and several other European Union countries according to a new study on alcoholism. Binge drinking is defined as the consumption of 5 or more alcoholic beverages in one session.

The poll discovered that a startling 34% of Irish people responded by indicating that they ‘usually’ binge drink, 53% couldn’t clearly recall their drinking habits and 13% were actually drinking while responding to the survey.

In related news: scientists say sun still too warm to walk on.

See what I mean?




   
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