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elohiym elohiym is offline
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I called the Suicide hotline... - November 16th, 2009, 10:40 PM

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, house foreclosures, retirement funds, etc.

I called the Suicide hotline.

Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.









(I just got that in an email. Thought it was funny. Don't know who the author is.)



   
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Thunder's Muse Thunder's Muse is offline
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November 16th, 2009, 10:48 PM

Oh, man! You had me going for a sec then...I was all like "Oh, no! Don't be sad!"

Hahahaha!!



   
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drbrumley drbrumley is offline
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November 16th, 2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by elohiym View Post
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, house foreclosures, retirement funds, etc.
Those things will make you depressed





An honest agnostic is one who put God to the test like he wants you to; to prove Himself to you, that's why no man can or ever will convince you of there being God and His son Jesus. ONLY He can do that. An honest agnostic wants to know the truth no matter the cost or where it leads you. You accept the conclusions on your own. That's an honest agnostic. A dishonest one says I don't care.Thereby becoming an atheist and a Fool!
   
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mike.obrien56 mike.obrien56 is offline
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November 16th, 2009, 11:02 PM

that was pretty funny.



   
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Cracked Cracked is offline
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November 16th, 2009, 11:08 PM

Zing...





"Haven't seen the back of us yet..."
   
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The Berean The Berean is offline
Conjunction junction, what's your function?
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November 16th, 2009, 11:38 PM






Your problem is not technology. The problem is YOU. You lack the will to change...You treat this planet as you treat each other. - Klaatu

What are you talking about? There is no such thing as the "Mafia"......it doesn't exist. Just a bunch of lies told to defame honest hardworking Italians like myself. - TomO

I will do you, let's see, goofy, wacky, and to the left side of the bell curve
. -Ktoyou

I'm white. I'm not black. I can't convert to being black. It doesn't matter how much I want to become black. I could listen to rap and date fat white women all day; for all that, I'll still remain white.- Traditio
   
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Persephone66 Persephone66 is offline
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November 16th, 2009, 11:44 PM

ahhh email, where jokes that you would be too embarrassed to tell in person go.



   
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Frank Ernest Frank Ernest is offline
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November 17th, 2009, 05:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by elohiym View Post
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, house foreclosures, retirement funds, etc.

I called the Suicide hotline.

Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.









(I just got that in an email. Thought it was funny. Don't know who the author is.)






Psalm 144
   
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Psalmist Psalmist is offline
Blessed is the man that......
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November 17th, 2009, 05:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by elohiym View Post
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, house foreclosures, retirement funds, etc.

I called the Suicide hotline.

Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.



(I just got that in an email. Thought it was funny. Don't know who the author is.)
Then they said . . .

If you accept this offer

May you be one with the earth
Cast out among the stars
Sent to oblivion
Knowing the joy of being
Obliviously happy








.....O LORD my God, in You I put my trust. Psalm 7:1
.....To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
Psalm 25:1

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~ Leo Buscaglia

Last edited by Psalmist; November 17th, 2009 at 08:09 AM..
   
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TomO TomO is offline
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November 17th, 2009, 05:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone66 View Post
ahhh email, where jokes that you would be too embarrassed to tell in person go.
Actually, I just relayed that in person.

.....are you really trying to tell me that you would be too embarrassed to tell that joke but dressing up like a Faerie and parading down the street is a no-biggie? :squint:



.....Ahh, perspectives...perspectives.





Destroy another fetus now, we don't like children anyhow, I've seen the future baby......... It is Murder.
~Leonard Cohen



To my mind it is wholly irresponsible to go into the world incapable of preventing violence, injury, crime, and death. How feeble is the mindset to accept defenselessness. How unnatural. How cheap. How cowardly. How pathetic.
~Ted Nugent
   
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FellowServant FellowServant is offline
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November 17th, 2009, 09:11 AM

That's not funny..



   
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Talking Me too! - November 17th, 2009, 09:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunder's Muse View Post
Oh, man! You had me going for a sec then...I was all like "Oh, no! Don't be sad!"

Hahahaha!!
All my maternal flags were up and at the ready! I'm glad it was not a real crisis! bybee



   
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Persephone66 Persephone66 is offline
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November 17th, 2009, 11:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomO View Post
Actually, I just relayed that in person.

.....are you really trying to tell me that you would be too embarrassed to tell that joke but dressing up like a Faerie and parading down the street is a no-biggie? :squint:



.....Ahh, perspectives...perspectives.
That was at DragonCon and I did it because I am a member of the "Cruxshadows Faeries." I'll have you know it wasn't just me in the parade but several other people also dressed as faeries. We looked pretty good too.



   
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elohiym elohiym is offline
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November 17th, 2009, 12:22 PM

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Originally Posted by FellowServant View Post
That's not funny..
Sure it was.



   
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elohiym elohiym is offline
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November 17th, 2009, 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psalmist View Post
Then they said . . .

If you accept this offer

May you be one with the earth
Cast out among the stars
Sent to oblivion...

Where I'd be swiftly beaten by 70 Virginians.




   
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