toldailytopic: Arranged marriage: good idea, bad idea?
TOL Topic of the Day - Chime In!Every day we will post a new topic and we want to get your comments on that topic. The topic could be about literally anything from the vague to the specific, important or trivial. The TOL membership can take that topic and run with it!
When a Man Lies He Murders
Some Part of the World
These Are the Pale Deaths Which
Men Miscall Their Lives
All this I Cannot Bear
to Witness Any Longer
Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation
Take Me Home
They "arranged" a shortlist of two to draw for, you know?
I bet Matthias and Joseph could have refused to be considered as well...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedidiah
Dear Stripe,In practical terms, there is a dichotomy between arranged marriage and its alternative.
Of course there is. Else your use of "its alternative" would be illogical. But it is a false dichotomy to say that parents must choose and the child may not refuse for a marriage to be arranged.
If there were arranged marriages, they should be international. Like, maybe American-Austrian. And clever philosophers should be matched up with hot redheads who've studied English.
When a Man Lies He Murders
Some Part of the World
These Are the Pale Deaths Which
Men Miscall Their Lives
All this I Cannot Bear
to Witness Any Longer
Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation
Take Me Home
If there were arranged marriages, they should be international. Like, maybe American-Austrian. And clever philosophers should be matched up with hot redheads who've studied English.
You want to be matched up with a red-headed Australian?
Slogan/motto:
Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings?
Reputation:
March 22nd, 2012, 01:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stripe
They "arranged" a shortlist of two to draw for, you know?
Pffft. Details.
We'll the Mrs. and I will play match maker, if that's needed. I'm not opposed to arranged marriages generally, just forced marriages, child marriages, and the like.
Slogan/motto:
Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings?
Reputation:
March 22nd, 2012, 01:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traditio
If there were arranged marriages, they should be international. Like, maybe American-Austrian. And clever philosophers should be matched up with hot redheads who've studied English.
Slogan/motto:
Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings?
Reputation:
March 22nd, 2012, 01:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traditio
You want hundreds of grandchildren?
At least. And by grandchildren, I mean great and great, great, too.
Slogan/motto:
Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings?
Slogan/motto:
We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. - Martin Luther King Jr.
Reputation:
March 22nd, 2012, 02:32 PM
Both. It can go well or it can go horribly wrong. When I was in college I did an anthropology project on arranged marriage. One of my professors invited me to her home and also took me to the home of her friends. I met three couples from different generations who had arranged marriage.
The first two had never met at all before their wedding ceremony. The second couple (my professor and her husband) had known each other but their parents set up the match and they agreed. The third couple were in their 20's. Their family members sought out potential matches and gave them pictures and info. They could veto anyone for any reason. They ended up choosing each other. All three couples were very much in love. The oldest couple who had never met had been married at least 40 years and you would never know they hadn't chosen one another. I interviewed them together and I have no doubt they have a genuine love and friendship. It was very sweet.
So I think it can go well as long as the family is respectful and considers the needs of the couple. I was also told stories of how wrong it can go and the same you have to live with if you actually get divorced. Of course, not to mention the women who are no doubt murdered because they chose to leave but that isn't an arranged marriage issue that is a morality issue.
I guess I should mention all three of the couples were Indian and Hindu.
I believe that the Universe is one being, all its parts are different expressions of the same energy,
and they are all in communication with each other, therefore parts of one organic whole.
This whole is in all its parts so beautiful, and is felt by me to be so intensely in earnest, that I am compelled to love it and to think of it as divine
- Robinson Jeffers
Location: A bubble of my own self-satisfaction. Which is in the New Forest somewhere in Hampshire.
Rep Power: 85382
Agnostic
Left Winger
Slogan/motto:
Some that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Do not be so eager to deal out justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.
Reputation:
March 22nd, 2012, 02:47 PM
There are many marriages arranged by parents that are excellent and lasting and happy. There are also plenty of marriages in which the parents had no say that have gone horribly wrong. Overall, however, I think that it's more moral, more realistic and more respectful of individual freedom if people choose who to marry themselves. That's not to say their parents and friends can't give them advice, of course, but I think it's quite important that the decision is made by the couple alone.
And to all those people in this thread saying that parents are likely to have better judgement than children - why would children be getting married, or even having their marriages planned for them at that age?
You want to be matched up with a red-headed Australian?
I was referring to Spitfire.
When a Man Lies He Murders
Some Part of the World
These Are the Pale Deaths Which
Men Miscall Their Lives
All this I Cannot Bear
to Witness Any Longer
Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation
Take Me Home
No thanks, in my situation anyways. I don't trust my dad to drive my vehicle, let alone choose my spouse. If your dad is some kind of moral paragon and wise, more power to you but consider yourself lucky, not everyone's parent is capable of better judgement than they are.
Linear Mode
