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I have noticed a trend in church where there is alot of condemnation regarding pre martial sex, however, there seems to be no real facilitation (matchmaking) of early marriages. It seems most churchs just throw young adults to the wolves and then get mad when the inevitable pre marital sex occures. Sexual immorality comes up quite a bit in the NT, you would think the church would be doing more to actually prevent it from happening (ie highly facilitated early marraiges, where the couple getting married has the final say but there is a good variety and frequent dating to help young people find someone and get married).
Isent it we the churchs fault that this is happening, I have found alot of christians want to preach on pre marital sex but no one actually wants to do anything about it. Does a church completely loose their credibility when they operate in this manner?
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April 1st, 2012, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by highlife
I have noticed a trend in church where there is alot of condemnation regarding pre martial sex, however, there seems to be no real facilitation (matchmaking) of early marriages. It seems most churchs just throw young adults to the wolves and then get mad when the inevitable pre marital sex occures. Sexual immorality comes up quite a bit in the NT, you would think the church would be doing more to actually prevent it from happening (ie highly facilitated early marraiges, where the couple getting married has the final say but there is a good variety and frequent dating to help young people find someone and get married).
Isent it we the churchs fault that this is happening, I have found alot of christians want to preach on pre marital sex but no one actually wants to do anything about it. Does a church completely loose their credibility when they operate in this manner?
The mormon churchs have what they call a "singles ward" where all people of a certian age (probably 18-30) who are single go to, the focus is to find a spouse and it is facilitated by the church.
Not that I agree with the mormon churchs theology but they are at least doing something about pre marital sex issues beyond just brow beating young people. If churchs really thought it was a dire sin they would do everything in their power to make sure young people were happily married before they were 20.
Its not the churches fault that people do not keep it in their pants.
Certainly I do believe that Church should help facilitate God honoring relationships but I do not believe that people are incapable of controlling themselves to the extent that they need to be forced into marriage to prevent sin.
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April 1st, 2012, 05:52 PM
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Originally Posted by highlife
The mormon churchs have what they call a "singles ward" where all people of a certian age (probably 18-30) who are single go to, the focus is to find a spouse and it is facilitated by the church.
Not that I agree with the mormon churchs theology but they are at least doing something about pre marital sex issues beyond just brow beating young people. If churchs really thought it was a dire sin they would do everything in their power to make sure young people were happily married before they were 20.
So you want churches to work as a dating service? That seems a bit odd to me.
I believe a lot of churches do have groups for young people. It isn't for the purpose of dating but young people can meet there and relationships can form. I don't see how anything beyond that should be required.
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April 1st, 2012, 05:57 PM
In our house, any girl interested in spending time with my step-son went through me first, when she came to our home to see him. I would tell my husband what I think and we'd decide where we stand with her from there. Sheila and Christian didn't make it past the door. After that he was more careful who he invited over.
"Dates" took place in our home, no bedrooms and no closed doors. Paige visited twice before she got wise and got him to start inviting their friends, along with their dates.
Group outings with his friends always had adult oversight and if there were no adult available that we were comfortable with, he didn't go.
There's more but you get the general idea. Perfect? No. Short of locking kids in the basement, no method will be. For example, we weren't supposed to know that Paige snuck around to his aunt's house once for some kissy-face action. Some second base action there, I suspect, as there was beer involved. Paige got the boot immediately thereafter.
Brandy popped up that same week. This was Paige's "friend", which is not a positive indicator. Last I heard she's back for another go-around.
But, fact remains no one's turned up pregnant yet, no STD's, only one broken heart by my count and I'd have bet my boots he was still a virgin when we moved. I really like those boots. Of course, now he's with his mother so...all bets are off.
If we manage to rectify this situation and get him back under our roof, those boundaries go right back into place.
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April 1st, 2012, 09:03 PM
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Originally Posted by highlife
I have noticed a trend in church where there is alot of condemnation regarding pre martial sex, however, there seems to be no real facilitation (matchmaking) of early marriages. It seems most churchs just throw young adults to the wolves and then get mad when the inevitable pre marital sex occures. Sexual immorality comes up quite a bit in the NT, you would think the church would be doing more to actually prevent it from happening (ie highly facilitated early marraiges, where the couple getting married has the final say but there is a good variety and frequent dating to help young people find someone and get married).
Isent it we the churchs fault that this is happening, I have found alot of christians want to preach on pre marital sex but no one actually wants to do anything about it. Does a church completely loose their credibility when they operate in this manner?
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I have noticed a trend in church where there is alot of condemnation regarding pre martial sex, however, there seems to be no real facilitation (matchmaking) of early marriages. It seems most churchs just throw young adults to the wolves and then get mad when the inevitable pre marital sex occures. Sexual immorality comes up quite a bit in the NT, you would think the church would be doing more to actually prevent it from happening (ie highly facilitated early marraiges, where the couple getting married has the final say but there is a good variety and frequent dating to help young people find someone and get married).
Isent it we the churchs fault that this is happening, I have found alot of christians want to preach on pre marital sex but no one actually wants to do anything about it. Does a church completely loose their credibility when they operate in this manner?
I think that is the parents job to teach their children about sex and marriage. Teenager are eager to learn what life is all about. We are at war with the world folks, the church might be able to help, but all you can do is teach and pray. Human nature is hard to combat, not everyone is ready to face adulthood. Children learn more from the way the parents conduct their lives than from books.
Psalm 1[/color] and Job 28:28
Rev 22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
Joh 4:23 "But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.
Individuals or groups who want to preach but offer no real solutions add no real value. I agree the parents are the first line and should be facilitating marriage (not just akward dating with no marriage).
I think the engineer in me makes it very hard to relate to fellow christians, when all the peaching starts it BETTER end with detailed solutions otherwise it adds no value to my life.
Individuals or groups who want to preach but offer no real solutions add no real value. I agree the parents are the first line and should be facilitating marriage (not just akward dating with no marriage).
I think the engineer in me makes it very hard to relate to fellow christians, when all the peaching starts it BETTER end with detailed solutions otherwise it adds no value to my life.
Don't have sex till your married, there is the solution.
Its not nearly as difficult as people make it out to be, sure there is temptation but its not like that goes away after your married.
Millions of people have managed to find a spouse without a church program. Certainly if any church feels led to start one I am all for it, but don't blame the sins of others on a lack of programs.
You are trying to treat a symptom without dealing with the cause. If a person is filled with the Holy Spirit and seeking God's will then they will be able to withstand any temptation that is thrown at them, though I would suggest not putting yourself in situations where you can act on those temptations when ever possible.
Isent it we the churchs fault that this is happening, I have found alot of christians want to preach on pre marital sex but no one actually wants to do anything about it. Does a church completely loose their credibility when they operate in this manner?
Here is a really good article on the subject. (its kinda long but its worth the read) The Case for Early Marriage: Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot.
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April 2nd, 2012, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by MaryContrary
In our house, any girl interested in spending time with my step-son went through me first, when she came to our home to see him. I would tell my husband what I think and we'd decide where we stand with her from there. Sheila and Christian didn't make it past the door. After that he was more careful who he invited over.
"Dates" took place in our home, no bedrooms and no closed doors. Paige visited twice before she got wise and got him to start inviting their friends, along with their dates.
Group outings with his friends always had adult oversight and if there were no adult available that we were comfortable with, he didn't go.
There's more but you get the general idea. Perfect? No. Short of locking kids in the basement, no method will be. For example, we weren't supposed to know that Paige snuck around to his aunt's house once for some kissy-face action. Some second base action there, I suspect, as there was beer involved. Paige got the boot immediately thereafter.
Brandy popped up that same week. This was Paige's "friend", which is not a positive indicator. Last I heard she's back for another go-around.
But, fact remains no one's turned up pregnant yet, no STD's, only one broken heart by my count and I'd have bet my boots he was still a virgin when we moved. I really like those boots. Of course, now he's with his mother so...all bets are off.
If we manage to rectify this situation and get him back under our roof, those boundaries go right back into place.
You are that parent that everyone despises, you know? While I am sure your intentions are good but I would be willing to bet even money that your step son resents you. If not, once he gets outside of your reign I would not be the least bit surprised if he acted out.
Bottom line: he will have sex, he will get his heart broken and there is nothing you can do about it.
Here is a really good article on the subject. (its kinda long but its worth the read) The Case for Early Marriage: Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot.
That is a very good point, when a young person goes to church and there are no eligible single people to date they will go else where, churchs are forcing young people to go out in the world to find romance and they are becomming irrelavent.
I liked the part about people who indulged in sex did not end up with train wrecks of lives and I know people who have married and their lives are a miserable wreck .... a marriage licence is a piece of paper, the younger generation knows that and the older generation is being made irrelavant, the only older generation I respect is the greatest generation of which there are VERY FEW left.
Don't have sex till your married, there is the solution.
Its not nearly as difficult as people make it out to be, sure there is temptation but its not like that goes away after your married.
Millions of people have managed to find a spouse without a church program. Certainly if any church feels led to start one I am all for it, but don't blame the sins of others on a lack of programs.
You are trying to treat a symptom without dealing with the cause. If a person is filled with the Holy Spirit and seeking God's will then they will be able to withstand any temptation that is thrown at them, though I would suggest not putting yourself in situations where you can act on those temptations when ever possible.
LOL thats not a solution thats adding fuel to the fire, God designed most people with sex drives so the solution needs to be sanctioned sex not abstinance, abstinance is not natural or healthy in my opinion, even the bible says if you can not contain you should marry .... ok so where is the facilitation of marriage in the church lol.
Last edited by highlife; April 2nd, 2012 at 12:44 PM.
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