[ebenz47037]

Please note that this thread is in the Exclusively Christian forum. That means that I'd like to keep this discussion between Christians only as much as possible. Please respect my request. I will remove any off-topic or inappropriate posts in this thread. -- Nori

This is a spin off of Traditio's thread about women dressing conservatively found here. I notice that his thread has taken on a life of its own. Before we really get into this, I would like to know if there is an age cut-off on this issue. It seems that the women who agree with my opinion (that women should dress more conservatively) are my age and older (mostly older than my age, though). I realized a long time ago that I'm more old-fashioned than people my age (I'm 43.). Most of the people my age (that I know), when in their twenties or younger, believed that everything was owed to them thanks to parents who pretty much gave us everything we wanted while we were growing up. That caused us to do the same with our own children even if it meant that we went into huge amounts of debt to do it. That I know of, the only people my age who didn't do this with their children grew up with the close influence of grandparents and great aunts and uncles who grew up during the Great Depression (1920s and 1930s) or earlier.

I've done my best to follow my grandmother's (born in 1907) example while raising my daughter. I've tried to raise her to respect her elders and other authority figures in her life and herself. Now, at age twenty-two, she knows everything about nothing in life. Of course, she's about to get a sharp dose of reality because I've given her three months to save up enough money to get her own place. Right now, she expects me to get everything she needs (even though she's working a full-time job that pays $10 an hour) without expecting her to do anything to help me out in my house. I've gotten tired of it. So, I told her that she needs to start saving up money to get a house or an apartment of her own. She grew up (with two parents until she was 9, when my husband passed away, and then with just me) with a mother who believed that anything worth having was worth working for, that one's integrity is one of the most important assets a person has, and that real beauty comes from inside a person as opposed to outward appearance. She never saw me wearing revealing clothing (except for a one-piece swimsuit with a men's t-shirt over it when I went swimming). She's never seen me drunk or high. So, she had a somewhat decent role model in me (I like to think so, anyway.). She thinks that everything is owed to her. She usually dresses in what I consider skanky clothing. And, she thinks that I should have no problem with her getting drunk (As far as I know, she hasn't messed with drugs.) since she's over twenty-one. She says that she wants to move to Washington (state), but she doesn't know how to take care of herself yet. She left my house in September of last year to move in with an internet friend in Virginia. She couldn't find a job and, eventually, her friend got tired of financially supporting her. She came back early this year. She told me that she has no job prospects in Washington. But, she has an internet friend who offered to let her stay with her. Somehow, I convinced her to stay here long enough to learn to take care of herself and save up a few thousand dollars before she goes to Washington. By here, I mean this area, not with me. I think that, with paying all of her bills on her own, it may take her a few years to save up enough money to actually be able to afford the move.

Anyway, I'd say that parents of the last two generations (maybe three) are the ones to blame for the way our children and our country is turning out. Hopefully, we haven't dug our country into a hole that they can't get out of.

[Lighthouse]

Originally Posted by ebenz47037

Please note that this thread is in the Exclusively Christian forum. That means that I'd like to keep this discussion between Christians only as much as possible. Please respect my request. I will remove any off-topic or inappropriate posts in this thread. -- Nori

This is a spin off of Traditio's thread about women dressing conservatively found here. I notice that his thread has taken on a life of its own. Before we really get into this, I would like to know if there is an age cut-off on this issue. It seems that the women who agree with my opinion (that women should dress more conservatively) are my age and older (mostly older than my age, though). I realized a long time ago that I'm more old-fashioned than people my age (I'm 43.). Most of the people my age (that I know), when in their twenties or younger, believed that everything was owed to them thanks to parents who pretty much gave us everything we wanted while we were growing up. That caused us to do the same with our own children even if it meant that we went into huge amounts of debt to do it. That I know of, the only people my age who didn't do this with their children grew up with the close influence of grandparents and great aunts and uncles who grew up during the Great Depression (1920s and 1930s) or earlier.

I've done my best to follow my grandmother's (born in 1907) example while raising my daughter. I've tried to raise her to respect her elders and other authority figures in her life and herself. Now, at age twenty-two, she knows everything about nothing in life. Of course, she's about to get a sharp dose of reality because I've given her three months to save up enough money to get her own place. Right now, she expects me to get everything she needs (even though she's working a full-time job that pays $10 an hour) without expecting her to do anything to help me out in my house. I've gotten tired of it. So, I told her that she needs to start saving up money to get a house or an apartment of her own. She grew up (with two parents until she was 9, when my husband passed away, and then with just me) with a mother who believed that anything worth having was worth working for, that one's integrity is one of the most important assets a person has, and that real beauty comes from inside a person as opposed to outward appearance. She never saw me wearing revealing clothing (except for a one-piece swimsuit with a men's t-shirt over it when I went swimming). She's never seen me drunk or high. So, she had a somewhat decent role model in me (I like to think so, anyway.). She thinks that everything is owed to her. She usually dresses in what I consider skanky clothing. And, she thinks that I should have no problem with her getting drunk (As far as I know, she hasn't messed with drugs.) since she's over twenty-one. She says that she wants to move to Washington (state), but she doesn't know how to take care of herself yet. She left my house in September of last year to move in with an internet friend in Virginia. She couldn't find a job and, eventually, her friend got tired of financially supporting her. She came back early this year. She told me that she has no job prospects in Washington. But, she has an internet friend who offered to let her stay with her. Somehow, I convinced her to stay here long enough to learn to take care of herself and save up a few thousand dollars before she goes to Washington. By here, I mean this area, not with me. I think that, with paying all of her bills on her own, it may take her a few years to save up enough money to actually be able to afford the move.

Anyway, I'd say that parents of the last two generations (maybe three) are the ones to blame for the way our children and our country is turning out. Hopefully, we haven't dug our country into a hole that they can't get out of.

Has anyone else given her the proper opinion of her clothing? Well, anyone she respects?

[Lazy afternoon]

Hi,

Ask her if she is prepared to look after you in your old age.



LA

[ebenz47037]

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

Has anyone else given her the proper opinion of her clothing? Well, anyone she respects?

Right now, the only people she seems to respect are dressing as bad or worse than she does and are encouraging her to get a "tramp stamp." I've told her what I think about that. But, she likes to tell me, "It's my body. I can do what I want with it."

[ebenz47037]

Originally Posted by Lazy afternoon

Hi,

Ask her if she is prepared to look after you in your old age.



LA

Oh, she's already told me that to take care of me (if needed), she will find me a "nice nursing home."

[Lazy afternoon]

Originally Posted by ebenz47037

Oh, she's already told me that to take care of me (if needed), she will find me a "nice nursing home."

Well there is your opportunity to tell her she has to go to her own home now if she does not want to live with you.

LA

[ebenz47037]

Originally Posted by Lazy afternoon

Well there is your opportunity to tell her she has to go to her own home now if she does not want to live with you.

LA

She asked me, about five years ago, if I would move out of my house and into a nursing home so that she could have a house when she became an adult. I told her, then, that she could kiss my butt. I can still take care of myself (at 43 and pysically and mentally sound, there would be no excuse if I couldn't) and I would be able to afford both my mortgage and a nursing home.

[Livelystone]

I grew up in a strict Christian upbringing that by itself did not stop me from making a left-hand turn in life. However, my mother never stopped praying for me to return to the values I was taught as a child. Eventually God did answer her prayers that I return to worshiping God and his son Jesus Christ.

A woman I know has a rebellious daughter whose life has been all about drugs, promiscuous activities, and just about everything different from how her mother raised her to be. However, she never did stop praying for her daughter including through addiction and 2 pregnancies.

Now praise the Lord, her daughter has been worshiping the Lord now for about 2 months getting involved in church programs and trying to turn her life around.

The moral of the story is never stop praying for her and never give up hope because God is able to answer your prayers.

Blessings to you and to your daughter

[Lighthouse]

Originally Posted by ebenz47037

Right now, the only people she seems to respect are dressing as bad or worse than she does and are encouraging her to get a "tramp stamp." I've told her what I think about that. But, she likes to tell me, "It's my body. I can do what I want with it."

Maybe you should lay out some of her clothes and take pictures, then post them on here and Facebook to get the opinions of others as to what people think of a woman in such garments.

[ebenz47037]

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

Maybe you should lay out some of her clothes and take pictures, then post them on here and Facebook to get the opinions of others as to what people think of a woman in such garments.

I should do that sometime.

BTW, she's been pushing the idea of getting a tramp stamp for the last month or so when she found out that my sister, R (the one who called me at 2 am my time because she was drunk), paid for her daughter to get one on her 18th birthday. thinks that I should pay for her to get one because R paid for her daughter's. I told that R thinks that tattoos are all right. I don't. I can't tell her that she can't get one. But, I won't pay for her to get one.

[Lighthouse]

Originally Posted by ebenz47037

I should do that sometime.

BTW, she's been pushing the idea of getting a tramp stamp for the last month or so when she found out that my sister, R (the one who called me at 2 am my time because she was drunk), paid for her daughter to get one on her 18th birthday. thinks that I should pay for her to get one because R paid for her daughter's. I told that R thinks that tattoos are all right. I don't. I can't tell her that she can't get one. But, I won't pay for her to get one.

Tell her if she wants a tramp stamp so bad you'll pay for it, but only if she gets one that reads, "I'M A TRAMP!"

[ebenz47037]

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

Tell her if she wants a tramp stamp so bad you'll pay for it, but only if she gets one that reads, "I'M A TRAMP!"

Tempting, but no. If she wants one that badly, she'll have to pay for it herself. I don't have a problem if someone wants/has one or more tattoos. I just won't pay for them.

[Lighthouse]

Originally Posted by ebenz47037

Tempting, but no. If she wants one that badly, she'll have to pay for it herself. I don't have a problem if someone wants/has one or more tattoos. I just won't pay for them.

I didn't say you had to pay for one. Just tell her that you'd pay for it if she did that. I suspect she'll decline.

[Lazy afternoon]

It all just proves that our children are not just offspring of their immediate parents necessarily.

Exo 20:4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Exo 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
Exo 20:6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.


Here is a email sent to me today, a little cut out of it.


CAN we SURVIVE GIVEN THE FOLLOWING?

The folks who are getting free stuff, don't like the folks who are paying for the free stuff, because the folks who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff. ????

The folks who are paying for the free stuff want the free stuff to stop, and the folks who are getting the free stuff want even more free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!

Now... The people who are forcing the people to pay for the free stuff have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff, that the people who are PAYING for the free stuff, are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.

So... The people who are GETTING the free stuff have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the free stuff by the people who are forcing some people to pay for their free stuff, and giving them the free stuff in the first place.

We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting free stuff than paying for the free stuff.

Now understand this: all great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded. The reason? The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them. Thomas Jefferson said it best: “Democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not”.

The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff. We have one chance to change that at the next election in ---- will we? Failure to change that spells the end of us , as we know it.

my comment--

Countries should take care of themselves and share their excess and methods so others do the same,

NOT use the cheap labor of other countries, and put our children out of work.

LA

[ebenz47037]

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

I didn't say you had to pay for one. Just tell her that you'd pay for it if she did that. I suspect she'll decline.

With the way her attitude has been lately, she might just take me up on it.