fruitcake
fruitcake
Fruitcake Subculture Conspiracy
By Dorothy Sibole
Somewhere in the recent past, society took a turn and a long-standing
holiday tradition was transformed into a joke. So complete was this
societal change that those daring to speak up for or defend fruitcake were
virtually stoned by an angry mob. Fruitcake lovers were outcast, rejected
and ridiculed by popular culture. So vitriolic was the anti-fruitcake
feeling that those with differing views were forced to quietly seek out
others who, like them, still appreciated the fruitcake. Soon, the outcasts
began to find each other, and so, the fruitcake subculture was formed.
It may surprise you how many people number themselves among the Fruitcake
Underground. Just tell a fruitcake joke to a group of people and carefully
watch the reactions. Oh yes, there will more than likely be one or more
people in the group laughing nervously, trying to blend in without making
a scene, wondering if anyone will ever come to the rescue of the defamed
fruitcake.
Other evidence is the amount of fruitcake out there in the world, and it
is spreading. Right now, someone somewhere (maybe someone you know)
is enjoying a dense, moist piece of fruit-and-nut-laden, Rum-drenched
cake behind closed doors, and probably feeling a little guilty about it.
I can tell you, after extensive research, that the movement is about to
come out of the basement. Fruitcake is about to become the next great
thing in the world of special occasion food items. The movement has firm
roots in many areas of food manufacturing and marketing, as well as
suspected endorsements from many famous chefs and food critics. That's
right, fruitcake is on its way back in. It's almost conspiratorial the way
everything is falling into place. Have you noticed the abundance of dried
fruits available in your local markets these days? Not your nuclear green
candied fruit substances, but real dried fruits. They are even putting
them in the cereal to get you acclimated to them. And where did the dried
cranberries come from? It's all part of the plan.
The next step is to gain broad acceptance by changing the name. Let's face
it. The term "fruitcake" has all kinds of negative associations. But what
about Jack Daniels Bourbon Cake? Or Meyer's Rum Cake? Yesterday, I saw the
first of these commercially marketed fruitcakes in the holiday section of
the gourmet grocery store in my town.
What can you do to stop it? It's too late to try - it's already gone too
far. So just embrace it; give it a try. Who knows, you may actually like
some of these cakes. The new cakes blend the best of the new world with
the best of the old world. Gone are the crazy candied fruits, and in are
the modern dry fruits. Don't hide this in your closet anymore. Dice it up
into small squares and dip it into chocolate for some delicious treats.
With the outstanding shelf life built in to a fruitcake, what do you have
to lose?
Basic Fruitcake
1/3 cup chopped dried cherries
2/3 cup dried cranberries
2/3 cup currants
½ cup plus 2 tablespoons light rum
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
8 tablespoons butter
¾ cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tablespoons milk
¼ cup un-sulfured molasses
2/3 cup chocolate chips or chopped pecans
rincess:
