A new religion: Blahblahblahionism

[Huckleberry]

The main tenets of Blahblahblahionism.

1. God creates us weak as infants, so we must strive for physical strength in our lives. Therefore the local gym can be considered a temple.
2. The reading of tea leaves reveals to us the word of God.
3. The Bible is given as a means to put hyperactive children to sleep, specifically 1st and 2nd Chronicles.
4. The tower of babel was obviously a trial run. We must construct a tower to heaven immediately, like in that South Park episode (also the word of God, btw.)
5. Jesus was a carpenter, therefore we must follow His example. Also fits into the tower of Babel thing.
6. We can never be carpenters as skilled as Jesus but we must strive to be. Especially in regards to picnic tables.
7. No other religion is right or wrong, except where it agrees with this religion. Or if something seems cool.
8. The explanation for different religions is that God has a sense of humor and He's just messin' with us. Duh.
9. God isn't directly involved in any of this and probably isn't paying attention. Therefore, build picnic tables. Because they're awesome.

I have no claim to special revelation and, in fact, can't support any of my claims in any way at all. But that doesn't matter.
Because religion.

Who wants to sign up?

 

[glorydaz]

Where did he go? :aimiel:


:idunno: why the converts keep disappearing.

 

[glorydaz]

CleverDan Might I suggest we change the carpenter thing to an architect. That way we'd have a blueprint to go by.

 

[musterion]

The main tenets of Blahblahblahionism.

1. God creates us weak as infants, so we must strive for physical strength in our lives. Therefore the local gym can be considered a temple.
2. The reading of tea leaves reveals to us the word of God.
3. The Bible is given as a means to put hyperactive children to sleep, specifically 1st and 2nd Chronicles.
4. The tower of babel was obviously a trial run. We must construct a tower to heaven immediately, like in that South Park episode (also the word of God, btw.)
5. Jesus was a carpenter, therefore we must follow His example. Also fits into the tower of Babel thing.
6. We can never be carpenters as skilled as Jesus but we must strive to be. Especially in regards to picnic tables.
7. No other religion is right or wrong, except where it agrees with this religion. Or if something seems cool.
8. The explanation for different religions is that God has a sense of humor and He's just messin' with us. Duh.
9. God isn't directly involved in any of this and probably isn't paying attention. Therefore, build picnic tables. Because they're awesome.

I have no claim to special revelation and, in fact, can't support any of my claims in any way at all. But that doesn't matter.
Because religion.

Who wants to sign up?

Do you have nice pews?

 

[aikido7]

The main tenets of Blahblahblahionism.

1. God creates us weak as infants, so we must strive for physical strength in our lives. Therefore the local gym can be considered a temple.
2. The reading of tea leaves reveals to us the word of God.
3. The Bible is given as a means to put hyperactive children to sleep, specifically 1st and 2nd Chronicles.
4. The tower of babel was obviously a trial run. We must construct a tower to heaven immediately, like in that South Park episode (also the word of God, btw.)
5. Jesus was a carpenter, therefore we must follow His example. Also fits into the tower of Babel thing.
6. We can never be carpenters as skilled as Jesus but we must strive to be. Especially in regards to picnic tables.
7. No other religion is right or wrong, except where it agrees with this religion. Or if something seems cool.
8. The explanation for different religions is that God has a sense of humor and He's just messin' with us. Duh.
9. God isn't directly involved in any of this and probably isn't paying attention. Therefore, build picnic tables. Because they're awesome.

I have no claim to special revelation and, in fact, can't support any of my claims in any way at all. But that doesn't matter.
Because religion.

Who wants to sign up?

I enjoyed reading this. You should post more often!

 

[genuineoriginal]

The main tenets of Blahblahblahionism.

1. God creates us weak as infants, so we must strive for physical strength in our lives. Therefore the local gym can be considered a temple.
2. The reading of tea leaves reveals to us the word of God.
3. The Bible is given as a means to put hyperactive children to sleep, specifically 1st and 2nd Chronicles.
4. The tower of babel was obviously a trial run. We must construct a tower to heaven immediately, like in that South Park episode (also the word of God, btw.)
5. Jesus was a carpenter, therefore we must follow His example. Also fits into the tower of Babel thing.
6. We can never be carpenters as skilled as Jesus but we must strive to be. Especially in regards to picnic tables.
7. No other religion is right or wrong, except where it agrees with this religion. Or if something seems cool.
8. The explanation for different religions is that God has a sense of humor and He's just messin' with us. Duh.
9. God isn't directly involved in any of this and probably isn't paying attention. Therefore, build picnic tables. Because they're awesome.

I have no claim to special revelation and, in fact, can't support any of my claims in any way at all. But that doesn't matter.
Because religion.

Who wants to sign up?

come back after the tenants of your new religion have been written down by 40 authors across a span of 3000 years and contain the actual words of God in them.

:wave2:

 

[Wick Stick]

So these picnic tables... stain or paint?

Careful how you answer! Your eternal soul may be in jeopardy!

 

[George Affleck]

Who wants to sign up?

Do I get a T-shirt?

Oh, oh... and can we wear those big curly multi-coloured hair wigs and stand in front of cameras? I always wanted to do that!

 

[Eeset]

Do I get a T-shirt?

Oh, oh... and can we wear those big curly multi-coloured hair wigs and stand in front of cameras? I always wanted to do that!

If you are wearing the official sanctioned T-Shirt you can stand in front of anything you want to.

 

[1Mind1Spirit]

If you are wearing the official sanctioned T-Shirt you can stand in front of anything you want to.

Even semi trucks....... :rapture:

 

[Eeset]

Even semi trucks....... :rapture:

If you want to, of course. Go for it

 

[musterion]

Music...contemporary or traditional?

 

[quip]

The main tenets of Blahblahblahionism.

1. God creates us weak as infants, so we must strive for physical strength in our lives. Therefore the local gym can be considered a temple.
2. The reading of tea leaves reveals to us the word of God.
3. The Bible is given as a means to put hyperactive children to sleep, specifically 1st and 2nd Chronicles.
4. The tower of babel was obviously a trial run. We must construct a tower to heaven immediately, like in that South Park episode (also the word of God, btw.)
5. Jesus was a carpenter, therefore we must follow His example. Also fits into the tower of Babel thing.
6. We can never be carpenters as skilled as Jesus but we must strive to be. Especially in regards to picnic tables.
7. No other religion is right or wrong, except where it agrees with this religion. Or if something seems cool.
8. The explanation for different religions is that God has a sense of humor and He's just messin' with us. Duh.
9. God isn't directly involved in any of this and probably isn't paying attention. Therefore, build picnic tables. Because they're awesome.

I have no claim to special revelation and, in fact, can't support any of my claims in any way at all. But that doesn't matter.
Because religion.

Who wants to sign up?

If it brings one ignorant, blissful solace....then what's the problem? :idunno:

 

[bybee]

The main tenets of Blahblahblahionism.

1. God creates us weak as infants, so we must strive for physical strength in our lives. Therefore the local gym can be considered a temple.
2. The reading of tea leaves reveals to us the word of God.
3. The Bible is given as a means to put hyperactive children to sleep, specifically 1st and 2nd Chronicles.
4. The tower of babel was obviously a trial run. We must construct a tower to heaven immediately, like in that South Park episode (also the word of God, btw.)
5. Jesus was a carpenter, therefore we must follow His example. Also fits into the tower of Babel thing.
6. We can never be carpenters as skilled as Jesus but we must strive to be. Especially in regards to picnic tables.
7. No other religion is right or wrong, except where it agrees with this religion. Or if something seems cool.
8. The explanation for different religions is that God has a sense of humor and He's just messin' with us. Duh.
9. God isn't directly involved in any of this and probably isn't paying attention. Therefore, build picnic tables. Because they're awesome.

I have no claim to special revelation and, in fact, can't support any of my claims in any way at all. But that doesn't matter.
Because religion.

Who wants to sign up?

:rapture:When you get to the top of your tower throw yourself off and then talk to me....

 

[musterion]

If it brings one ignorant, blissful solace....then what's the problem? :idunno:

So that's why you like your heathen idolatry.

 

[quip]

So that's why you like your heathen idolatry.

I have no recollection of any idolatry. You must have me mixed up with another heathen. :chuckle:

 

[genuineoriginal]

I have no recollection of any idolatry. You must have me mixed up with another heathen. :chuckle:

Idolatry is the use of statues in religious worship.

Buddhism is well known for the statues of Buddha in the temples, in the houses, and even on the keychains of Buddhists.

Maybe you have your heathen religion mixed up with another heathen religion called Buddhism?

 

[quip]

Idolatry is the use of statues in religious worship.

Buddhism is well known for the statues of Buddha in the temples, in the houses, and even on the keychains of Buddhists.

Define "use"

 

[genuineoriginal]

Define "use"

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/use

 

[quip]

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/use

:cigar: