Bible Jokes

k0de

k0de

Active member
This is serious business and there is no joke about it.

But tension around here is kind of a little bitter among so many different kinds of believers who take scriptures and their believes to the death and heart.

There is nothing wrong with this position. But we also have to remember that no matter what we believe in. We're all still one in the body of Christ. And we have to be very careful with the enemy. Because his best position and weapon is to divided and conquer.

So I go first.

Can you imagine Elijah naked? A hairy man with a leather girdle about his loins.

Lol
 
k0de

k0de

Active member
k0de said:
This is serious business and there is no joke about it.

But tension around here is kind of a little bitter among so many different kinds of believers who take scriptures and their believes to the death and heart.

There is nothing wrong with this position. But we also have to remember that no matter what we believe in. We're all still one in the body of Christ. And we have to be very careful with the enemy. Because his best position and weapon is to divided and conquer.

So I go first.

Can you imagine Elijah naked? A hairy man with a leather girdle about his loins.

Lol
Click to expand...
Anyone..... Genesis 18:12-15

So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?"Then the Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son." Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, "I did not laugh." But he said, "Yes, you did laugh."

The Lord likes when we laugh. Can we laugh with the Lord? Cast your Bible Jokes....
 
Aimiel

Aimiel

Well-known member
Jesus, Moses and a fat little bald guy are on the golf course. Jesus steps up and hits a long drive that lands right in the middle of the lake. When it's his turn, he walks out onto the water and hits the ball up onto the green. Moses, in turn hits from the middle of the fairway and as the ball heads towards the lake, he raises his club, the water parts and the ball rolls right across and up onto the green. The fat little bald guy hits from the tee and when he does: an eagle catches the ball in mid-air. As he's flying away with it, lightning strikes it and the ball drops right into the hole. Jesus says, "Dad, that's cheating!"
 
Aimiel

Aimiel

Well-known member
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."

:drum:
 
k0de

k0de

Active member
Aimiel said:
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."

:drum:
Click to expand...
That to be Jonah and that's how he ended up in the belly of the fish. Lol
 
Aimiel

Aimiel

Well-known member
Jesus said, “Who do people say that I am?”

And his disciples answered and said, “Some say you are John the Baptist returned from the dead; others say Elijah, or one of the prophets.

And Jesus answered and said, “But who do you say that I am?”

Peter answered and said, “Thou art the Logos, existing in the Father as His rationality and then, by an act of His will, being generated, in consideration of the various functions by which God is related to his creation, but only on the fact that Scripture speaks of a Father, and a Son, and a Holy Spirit, each member of the Trinity being coequal with every other member, and each acting inseparably with and interpenetrating every other member, with only an economic subordination within God, but causing no division which would make the substance no longer simple.”

And Jesus answered and said, “What?”
 
Aimiel

Aimiel

Well-known member
Jesus and Moses are golfing.

Jesus says, “Watch this drive. It’ll be just like Tiger Woods.” He hits the ball and it lands in the lake.

Moses says, “I’ll get it.” He goes down to the lake, parts the water and retrieves the ball.

“Okay,” Jesus says, “This time, it WILL be just like Tiger Woods.” He hits the ball and again, it lands in the lake. Moses goes down, parts the lake and retrieves the ball.

“Third time is a charm,” Jesus says. “Watch, just like Tiger Woods.” And for the third time he hits the ball into the lake.

Moses says, “This time, you can get it yourself!”

As Jesus is down walking on the water looking for the ball, a crowd has formed. One guy says, “Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?”

“No,” Moses says. “That IS The Lord, He thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”
 
Stripe

Stripe

Teenage Adaptive Ninja Turtle
LIFETIME MEMBER
Hall of Fame
Aimiel said:
Jesus said, “Who do people say that I am?”

And his disciples answered and said, “Some say you are John the Baptist returned from the dead; others say Elijah, or one of the prophets.

And Jesus answered and said, “But who do you say that I am?”

Peter answered and said, “Thou art the Logos, existing in the Father as His rationality and then, by an act of His will, being generated, in consideration of the various functions by which God is related to his creation, but only on the fact that Scripture speaks of a Father, and a Son, and a Holy Spirit, each member of the Trinity being coequal with every other member, and each acting inseparably with and interpenetrating every other member, with only an economic subordination within God, but causing no division which would make the substance no longer simple.”

And Jesus answered and said, “What?”
Click to expand...

:rotfl:
 
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