Granite,
Religion was always just religion. The difference is that I think you maybe were taught that your religion about God was really god itself, and now you're seeing that it was not God at all, but was really just a religion all along.
I apologize for putting words in your mouth. And I may be completely wrong, but if this is the case I think there is reason to rejoice. The cool thing about letting go of the deification of a religion is that all religions become more equal after that, and we can begin to glimpse God's face through each of them in their own unque way. We can see how fully God transcends man's religions when we begin to transcend them ourselves. And we can begin to appreciate the magnificence of God when we begin see how one God can relate to all these people through all these religions over all this time and through so many different worldly circumstances. And we're just one species on one little planet on the edge of one galaxy surrounded by billions of others - all with countless habitable planets and maybe trillions of other intelligent life forms. And all of them, too, with their own peculiar understanding and experience of God.
Well anyway, God was never a religion. God is the love you see in your wife's eyes when she looks at you. God is the trust and joy you see in your children's eyes when they look at you. God is the smile you see on a stranger's face when you hold out your hand and say, "hello, I'm ____, nice to meet you!" God is your own willingness to be good to other people, and to be honest, and to be kind, and share yourself. And God is the desire in others to do the same.
Religions are just man-made ideologies and practices that are supposed to help us to recognize and understand these things about God and to remember them. But sometimes the religions become false idols of their own. They take the place of God inside us and turn us into religious zealots and ideologues. When that happens it's time to put the religions away for a while before we become so confused and addicted to them that we lose sight of God all together.
God is love - not religion. Almost every religion on Earth will tell us this, but still many of us will lose our way and become addicted to the false idols we make of our own religions. And like any other junkie, we'll destroy everyone and everything in our lives to keep getting that "fix": to keep imagining that we own God, and God's righteousness through our religion.
Well anyway, I'm happy to hear that you have let go of that idolized kind of religion (if this is what I am hearing you say has happened) because I know that God's love in your life isn't dependant upon any religious belief, and frankly, I think it's easier to recognize and enjoy without all that religious crap. (But that's only my personal experience and opinion. I see others around here who are very successful at using their religion to help them recognize God's love in their lives and share it with other. Obviously they will feel differently then I do about it. *smile*)
In any case, nice to see you back and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
